


Return to Me!

by uponthatstarlight



Series: Kili and Tauriel [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The battle of the five armies - Fandom
Genre: Angst, BotFA, F/M, Possible characters coming back to life....
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-05 07:01:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3110450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uponthatstarlight/pseuds/uponthatstarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Innocents don't kiss like that"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fallen

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published post on AO3, but I have already written this for Tumblr, I just expanded it.

She saw the blade going into his chest as her body went completely numb as darkness and despair overfilled her. Her heart did not beat as she saw him, his eyes losing their light, their innocence and their recklessness.

The air hung thick with despair, sadness and lost hope. She was going to lose him, there was no saving him this time. He was not going to return to her nor his mother. That pathetic orc filth stole him from fulfilling his promises, stole him from such a precious life.

She saw him through watery eyes as he tried to say something, barely a sound escaping his mouth. She then saw a tear escape from his eye, and that was it, she could feel her light being taken out of her. She drew in a sharp breath as she could see that he was losing his grip on life. She knew that he made an effort to stay breathing longer, but then he flew away as suddenly as he first came to her.

The sound of his voice, his mischievous smile and his warm dark eyes were gone. Kili, a young prince who still had so many more wonders to discover and so much more recklessness to bestow was truly gone.

She did not even tell him she loved him more than the stars, she did not tell him that yes, she knew what that meant, and he never got the chance to show her a fire moon.

She laid there looking up at the orc who had taken him away from her, away from everything he still had to experience. Pure anger filled her as the orc raised his blade with full intention of killing her too. But she leaped up and and hoisted herself around his neck and with a swift turn she tried to throw him off the ledge but everything happened so fast that they both fell down. Her aching body landed with a hard thump and she started to feel consciousness slipping away from her.

She wanted to get up, but the will to do so was just not there. She laid there and looked up to the sky as tears ran down the side of her face. She closed her eyes as the emotional pain became too severe. Her wounds were nothing compared to the desolation she felt inside of her.

Her sobs were shaking her body, and she fisted her hands. The pain she felt was familiar, but so much more intense. Losing her parents killed her innocence, but losing him, killed off everything else.

Love had no definition before, and now she could feel her soul and her heart aching. She could hear Legolas fighting the orc which killed her light, but she could not stand up and help him. Her weakness was far beyond her physical state.

She felt as if she laid in the cold landing spot for centuries, only the pain made her realize only a few moments have passed.

She stopped crying as her ears heard nothing. The ruckus from the battle seemed to have suddenly disappeared.

Or I’m dead, she thought. But that could not be as she could still feel the pain in her cheek, and the throbbing pain in her injured shoulder, and her broken heart. She carefully stood up, breathing in quick breaths as the white little clouds danced around her.

She looked up the hill which she had rolled down from. And she knew that he was up there. She froze, unsure of what to do. With tears already rolling down her cheeks, she sprinted around the small hill trying to find a way up. Jagged and slippery rocks were not helping as she had to use her leftover strength to be able to pull herself to the ledge, cutting her hands as she fought her way up.

And there he was. She sobbed as she slowly walked to him. The once happy and teasing dwarf laid still. Too still for a reckless dwarf.

His blood had stopped running from the fatal wound, leaving his tunic damped with red.

All the memories she had of him, his risky innuendos, his talks of fire moons, and his impressive sense of humor, were suddenly too painful to remember.

But the runestone she did suddenly remember! Still a few feet away from him, she took out the runestone which laid in her shaking palm. She caressed the smooth stone, as more tears frantically ran down her cheeks. She ran her thumb across the carved runes. She read it, out loud, return to me. She remembered what he had said about how reading the runes could curse anyone but a dwarf. She looked at his stilled form, and that was it. That was her curse: death.

“Return to me” she said out loud, her voice sounding so weak to her ears.

“Return to me... please I love you!!” she shouted as she heard the echoes booming around the hill. Anger filled her as she shouted again. “Please come back to me!”

She then gasped, trying to desperately breath, as she clutched the stone close to her.

“Please! say my name, please.. open your eyes.. Kili” she finally whispered.

Her whole body shook as she walked over to him, sitting down. She needed him close, his warmth, his anything. She then regretted not saying anything at the shores of Laketown. She wished she would of said everything that was running through her racing mind. She wished she would of been brave enough to hug him even if Legolas saw it all. She wished she could of kissed him, she really did yearn to kiss those pink smooth lips of his. She wanted to taste him, and his mischievous smile. She wanted him to repeat what he had told her. She knew what it meant, even if the dwarven language was an intense and sharp language, in his voice it sounded like pure honey. When he said it to her, she could feel her heartbeat accelerating as her hands begged for her to touch his cheek, his hair, anything!

But now it was too late, she looked down at him. He did not deserve this. He was too young, too innocent for such a horrible death. He had too many years left to live. Why is life so unfair?

Why is love such a tragedy?

She had not saved him. Tauriel saved him so many times, that now not being able to do so this time further shattered her heart. But he had saved her, gave his last breaths for her.

She was about to take his hand, as she heard someone approaching. Her stance relaxed as she saw him.

Legolas looked at her, not saying anything. His eyes were dark but apologetic. She looked at him with such a distant and pained look that he had to look away. He had never seen her so broken before. She suddenly looked so weak and fragile, which she was always the opposite of.

Tauriel then grabbed Kili’s hand and placed the stone in his palm. It was not hers to keep she realized, it belonged with him. His promises now laid broken as she was.

Legolas did not try to talk to her nor comfort her. The heartbreak and loss she was feeling could not be taken away. He looked up and gave her a smile, one that did not reach his blue eyes, she stared back, as he walked away. It was clear. That was the last time they would see each other. She sighed, as more tears rolled in. She looked at Kili and wished he were sleeping.

She so desperately wanted to hear his voice, to see him smile. To tell her that he was there. But now his usually warm body was cold and lifeless.

She heard other, too familiar footsteps approach her. She knew who it was.

“I want to bury him” she breathed, barely a whisper. She knew she had to find someone of his kin to do it, if anyone was left. If there was no one, she would do it herself. Tauriel knew the dwarfs buried their death, as foreign as the idea seemed to her, she wanted to see it done.

“Yes” Thranduil murmured, as tears surfaced in his eyes. The scene in front of him was all too familiar. He had also lost someone important. He knew how it felt like to feel everything good taken out of his body. His heart hurt for Tauriel, knowing that she would never recover from such a loss.

“If this is love, I do not want it!” she painfully demanded, her voice sounding too distant and dead.

“Take it from me! Please!” she cried, as her voice begged overfilled with sorrow. Her pain made the air around him stand still. Her eyes looked so lost that he wanted to run to her and hold her, as he had done so many times when she was young.

“Why does it hurt so much?” she half cried, as the pain inside her made it difficult to breath.

And then ke knew of what to say, some words which coming from him, would make her pain at least become bearable.

“Because it was real” he assured, trying to keep his voice from shaking, she slowly looked up at him. She saw that he was not lying, she thought of the meaning behind his words. Realization came to her eyes, as she knew of what real love meant. She looked down at Kili and leaned down, kissing him on his lips. She would have given everything for him to be able to kiss her back.

But she pushed that thought out of her less clouded mind. She smiled knowingly.

“I will see you again, my love” she confidently said. She hugged him and she touched his cold cheeks. He will get to show her a fire moon after all.


	2. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter as I am getting back into the swing of writing :)  
> I did decide to continue on! This is so much different than my other fic. It breaks my heart but I am enjoying a change of style since my other fic is generally not as sad as this one xD

_**"I see you dancing under the moonlight,** _

_**And it could not be any clearer to me,** _

_**how much this world loves to have you."** _

* * *

 

Tauriel stayed with Kili after Thranduil had left her for sought after privacy. Her heart and body still ached yet hope tried to shimmer in her heart. But the fire of hope he set in her was not wanting to rekindle. Yet the hope of seeing his smile and bright eyes again made her smile softly. The pull of her lips was foreign to her as she could not feel the full load of happiness a smile usually left in her. It was unusual because before any time her mind thought of HIM then it instantly caused her heart to beat faster and her blushing smile to take over her. But at least it was a small smile… trying so hard to make her heartbreak bearable.

Yet as her smile was still there, tears began to fall…. Her sobs shook her very core. The throbbing and aching pain of her body was nothing compared to the storm she had inside of her. Had she felt such distress before? 

She looked at him… his youth and promise of life taken. 

“You saved me” she whispered to the cold air around her as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Always with the recklessness my love”

Her scolding would have received an eye roll and a side grin… yet she received nothing. She bit her lip as another wave of uncontrolled crying threatened to overtake her. She heard approaching and heavy footsteps. They filed into view yet her eyes did little to acknowledge their presence.

They all looked at her with sorrow and pity. Most of the dwarven kin started to cry as they saw Kili’s body laying there. Tauriel saw as the bald dwarf with a head covered with tattoos comforted an older dwarf whose white beard blended with the fallen snow gathered at their feet.

“Tauriel” one of them whispered… It was the halfling who had called her name. His voice was broken and farway. His eyes were filled with great sorrow that made him appear older. Her eyes were drawn to such distress as they mirrored hers.

“Tauriel” he repeated as he took a step towards them and her wounded mind and instinct made her fist tighten at Kili’s metal mail in a protective manner. “They need to take him”

His voice was apologetic yet he gave her a small smile as to calm her actions. She swallowed the thick desperation and agony caught at her throat.

“A few more minutes please” she begged as another round of tears made their way down her moist cheeks. Her puffy, red eyes begged and looked to them all. They could not say no to those eyes. The once strong, powerful and witty elf they had met briefly was now gone. A stranger was there in front of them, with familiar pain written in her eyes. The same pain they all shared.

The one she remembered from Laketown and had found the Athelas came forward. His humorous spark was gone and a deep shadow covered his eyes.

“You may come to the funeral Tauriel, but we must take him now” he said, his voice soft and once again apologetic. Everyone was giving her the same look…. that of apology and pity. How much did they know? How deep was their knowledge in the affection that she had shared with Kili. Did she herself know? Of course… the pain in her heart was no liar. The presence of sorrow meant that he had truly existed and it was not a wonderful dream that turned into a dark nightmare.

The pain she felt was the loudest reminder that she had fallen in love with him. She had foolishly fallen in love without giving much thought to the consequences. But her mind did not think at all when _he_  had been overtaking her every thought. 

Her mind stopped.... She was about to argue with Bofur when she forced her mouth shut as she remembered that those standing in front of her were Kili’s family members… his dear friends. She could not disrespect any traditions Kili was a part of.

She nodded…. yet only Bofur caught it because her head tilted down in the slightest of movements. Her stubborn tears did not stop their tracks and her heart still screamed for Kili to wake up. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead and she shuttered at the feel of his cold skin.

“ _Gi melin_ ” Tauriel whispered before she retreated. She had sneaked the runestone into his pocket yet at the last second she grabbed it…. she could not bring herself to abandon the stone. He would have liked her to keep it. Right? 

She held onto the stone with both hands as if it were her last life line as the dwarves around her came over and picked him up. Their faces were dull and solemn. None spoke but to only give directions. She followed them and she found that her body shook and her feet felt heavy. The cold wind around her blew angrily. Had winter always been that cold? 

The stone at her hands was warm and his voice saying his promise repeated in her mind over and over again. Each time his words hurt her, as if arrow after arrow was buried deep into her skin. She winced and shuddered when she remembered the way his eyes sparkled when he had said those words, _keep it as a promise_... those words that haunted her. His eyes had resembled sweet molten honey…. eyes that she dearly wanted to get captured by for an eternity. Eyes that would have made any map useless as she would have gladly wandered around. It is true she thought, _not all those who wander are lost_. But now she felt nothing but lost. Truly lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Longer chapters will come. I still do now know how long this will be but I am striving for at least 8-10 chapters.  
> :) See ya!  
> Quote there at the end is from Tolkien :) Its always been a favorite quote of mine.  
> Top quote- Raniaava (via Tumblr)


	3. On Fire

The smell and feel of death and desolation hit everyone hard with a deep pain in their hearts. The air was blowing as if playing a heartbreaking song to match with the dark times.

Tauriel’s fiery hair blew around her and she so wished for Kili to comment about it… he had a fascination with her hair and now he wasn't there to tell her that her hair was on fire like he had done so before. Her feet were numb and her legs begged for a moment of rest but she pushed her exhausted body and mind forward. In slow motion everything moved and she carried on… down some stairs, around some pillars, some more stairs, more blood, more bodies, more death and more sorrow.

They finally reached the destroyed field that was overwhelmingly filled with corpses. The dwarves now carried Kili, Fili and Thorin. They all stopped and gasped as their eyes witnessed the death that suffocated the earth. Tauriel thinned her lips and followed silently and allowed her tears to run freely yet halfway through the field she felt as she had no tears left. The immense pain of seeing so much death around her caused her pain to internalize and bury deeper within her like dagger. Her sharp and cold eyes were fixed straight ahead of her as the stone was nestled in her palm. His promise had seared into her mind and her heart. It was too late to run and too late to follow.

It took every ounce of her remaining strength to keep her eyes from falling to Kili’s body. But the slight bounce of his black curls fascinated her and her eyes kept darting to it. Her body shook as she remembered her hands completely buried in that hair and the sensation of having his skin pressed to hers. The rhythm they had shared would forever send shivers through her body and painful and mean sadness to her heart.

His company was keeping some distance from her yet she noticed that they did not ignore her. They kept checking over their shoulders to see if she was still following and she would notice that they would slow down if she had fallen behind. The Captain of the Mirkwood guard was suddenly slow even for the dwarves’ short legs.

No word was spoken, only the loud screams of death and mourning were heard. Yet it was still silent and eerie. No celebration of victory was heard and the once loud dwarves walking in front of her were quite and their pain floated to the back, hitting her full on. They were so silent.

Kili had never been as quiet.

“He’s dead” her mind kept on repeating over and over again. 

“Take me to where his voice is” she found herself whispering under her breath. Too quiet of a whisper for dwarven ears to hear.

After climbing over bodies and going around the stench of the piles of dead orc, they finally reached the gates of Erebor. It would have taken Tauriel’s breath away to be standing so close to such entrance but the paleness of Kili’s skin was making her eyes shut close. To see his brother and his uncle next to him was also a nightmare as she knew he had loved them dearly. The pain they had all endure minutes before death would have been gruesome.

They are gone, truly she was awake. She wanted to scream… this could not be real. She was still in denial….

“Can I enter?” her quivery voice asked but her eyes were fixed on Kili. They all turned around to her still form. The dwarves looked to each other, Bilbo looked to Gandalf as finally everyone turned to Balin who nodded with the smallest smile.

Tauriel couldn't smile but she hoped she expressed her gratitude by tilting her head downward.

The dwarves did not spare a second and went right inside. Once again they climbed over stone and straight into the grandeur of a darkened kingdom. They spread a dusty tapestry on the floor and laid the bodies on it with care and covered them with coats. Tauriel’s hand fisted at her chest as she saw them laying there, cold and lifeless. The promise of a kingdom soared over their dead bodies. A king’s and princes’ dream of such kingdom was doomed since the beginning. A flightless bird, never to take flight. But Tauriel had believed they stood a chance. It was her naive heart that made her excited for seeing Kili’s brown eyes again. It was her over positive mind that wished for their survival.

The dwarves talked amongst themselves and Tauriel heard hints of what their plans would be. They intended to bury the brothers and Thorin soon but first they needed to gather every surviving dwarf to pay tribute as well.

“We shall find Dain, he will want to be here. Anyone who wishes to attend may do so. We will also have a ceremony for every life lost, human, dwarven and.. elven”

All eyes and heads turned to Tauriel.

“Would your king like to attend?” Bilbo asked, his voice as turbulent as hers.

“I shall ask” she whispered with a small nod.

Plans were made, dwarves went separate ways. Tauriel and Bilbo were the only remaining.

“I can't be here” he whispered running his hands down his face. His voice was broken and his eyes were fixed over the bodies.

Tauriel had no idea how to comfort anyone, she stood by his side and hoped her presence would alleviate him.

“I’ve never seen an elf show so much emotion before” he then noted with dead humor in his eyes but no harshness in his voice.

“And I have never seen someone look at someone else like he looked at you. I saw the two of you talking at the dungeon. I am sure he treasured every second he spent with you”

His voice was soft and it brought a small smile to Tauriel’s lips. Her eyes filled with tears as she turned to the hobbit.

Her throat was dry and she was unable to say anything. He walked away knowing she wanted some privacy. It was true that elves did not allow any feelings to shine through but he could see Tauriel’s despair clear as day.

She saw him turn the corner and finally allowed the tears to stream down her face. Kili had sparked so many feelings in her, that she would have found strange otherwise. The pain she felt in her heart was the constant reminder that she was awake because she knew no such pain could be felt if she were dreaming. Tauriel stood there, helpless and weak as she tried to process the pain and despair. She had never felt so much of it for so long… something about the ruthless power of pain made her feel alive and connected to something. It was a terrible nightmare that she was living in but she was glad….

She gasped and choked on her cries and she knelt in front of his covered body. Their love had been forbidden but she had the pleasure of having the memory of him. Both her downfall and rescue were to be the sweet memories.

They had met… they had found something so unique in each other. He had rendered her speechless and made every of her walls to crumble. He had set aflame her need of body- to-body contact and romance, yet only he could ever fill such desire. She had become his prisoner. A prisoner that became addicted to his touch, his eyes and his voice. She could at least say that she had known what true beauty and love looked like.

“It has been a pleasure to have fallen in love with you Amralime” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	4. Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)  
> Super short chapter as I am getting in the wave of writing among the busyness that is life. I mainly updated so you all know I am alive and haven't given up on this story ;)

_Feet don't fail me now_  
_Take me to the finish line_  
_Oh my heart it breaks, every step that I take_  
_But I'm hoping at the gates,_  
_They'll tell me that you're mine_

* * *

 

Tauriel left Erebor with rapid footsteps in search of Thranduil. The dwarves requested his presence but all she could do is voice their wishes as she did not possess the energy to convince him to attend the funeral.

Her eyes were fixed ahead of her and her pace was unyielding. She regained the last ounces of her strength to keep her head held high and she tightened her clenched fists to prevent her tears from falling. Every step hurt her in every sense of the word. But she kept on going.

Step after step her body begged for her to stop when at last her wounds won over her. She stopped right at the entrance of the bridge that led into Dale. She collapsed but managed to catch her fall as she leaned on some rocks. She sniffed as she moved her hair out of her face and behind her ears. _She could almost feel his hands doing just that as he had done times before. It was ghostly... as if the wind carried his touch._

She quickly moved her attention away from lingering thoughts as she had finally allowed herself a moment of rest. She sat down on the cold but comfortable rock and tried to swim out of the shock trance she knew she was still in. Her eyes surveyed the damage that surrounded her. Death, destruction, smoke, and darkness enveloped her sights as well as distant cries deafened her ears.

“No one wins a war” she said as a fiery rage shook her body as she clutched her fists closed. Did she dare and curse her survival?

She nodded as tears welled up in her eyes once again.

“You are so foolish” she hissed at herself as the wish of her death flashed in her eyes for many seconds. She wished she could have followed him. She wished she was among the ones fallen as long as it meant sparing her eyes from looking at so much gore and death.

“Come back to me” Tauriel whispered to herself as her mind raced from one thought to another. What she said out loud was random and even more so strange as she realized she was talking to herself. She felt like screaming, as if she needed to release the rage she felt. It was burning her, making her every breath harder to take then the last.

She breathed in rapidly as sounds got louder and images flashed in her mind. Blade, orc, him… in that order. Blade, orc and him… and she… she did not save him.

Her fault.

“Tauriel” she heard a voice call to her but her mind was almost blurry and shaking… and perhaps she felt as if something inside of her wanted to cry and scream for days to come. Her name sounded almost magical in that voice… that stupidly magnificent voice.

“Tauriel”

There it was again, but a different voice,  and then her eyes opened because she finally gathered up her courage to do so. She was hesitant, as for fear of looking at those brown eyes. Thankfully, it was the wizard and he was standing there looking at her with a curious and worried gaze.

“Hello” he greeted with a soft smile and Tauriel had to turn away from such softness.

“I was about to summon Thranduil” she announced as she rose and out of respect, bowed. Gandalf took a few steps closer to her and sighed as she took a small step back.

“Your heart holds great misery” he whispered. Her defense immediately surfaced and she shook her head, held her head high, and took a deep breath.

“No. I am fine” she shot, and Gandalf noticed the venom hint in her voice. “There has been many casualties, we are all experiencing misery”

Gandalf smiled at her and came closer. “You are allowed to mourn”

Tauriel bit her lip and shook her head. “This is the reason why love should be forbidden”

Gandalf watched her fight back tears that threatened to fall. Her will to look strong slowly faded yet she held on to it as tight as she held on to that runestone.

“Love is not a curse Tauriel” he whispered with a tone that gave Tauriel goosebumps and almost made her believe such epic lie.

She shook her head and smiled, something that did not give any light to her eyes. Gandalf closed his  as her darkness and grief clouded him as well.

“Yes it is” she said as her voice was carried off by the wind which no longer caused her to shiver. Every wave of pain was already doing that, cold winter wind was the least of her problems.

“I will summon Thranduil” Gandalf proposed. “And you shall go find a tent and rest”

Tauriel’s cold eyes flickered over to his and he saw her give him the smallest of nods.

“I can rest inside there” Tauriel said pointing at one standing tower inside Dale. Gandalf turned to the look at the tower, relieved that she had agreed to rest. The tower looked empty but far. That was not appropriate for a wounded and grief stricken elf.

“How about a closer one?” he asked.

“No” was all she said as she began to walk away. Her fiery hair behind her left a path of sadness.

“Tauriel” he called and he saw how it took her several steps to finally stop and turn around. She did so slowly.

“Kili isn't gone. He will remain with us for ever. His love for you was real, everything was”

Tauriel’s eyes steeled and no tears resurfaced.

“Don't say his name in my presence” she begged as she turned around and continued her path along the bridge. Every step took great effort yet she did not want to stop. Her eyes remained dry and the runestone was hidden away in her pocket.

“Don't speak to me” she murmured with fire in her voice, but it was not to the saddened wizard who was strolling quietly behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	5. Set Fire to the Rain

_ Don't make me sad, don't make me cry _

_ Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough, I don't know why _

_ Keep making me laugh _

* * *

 

_ *Flashback* _

_ “So the night does hold beautiful sights”  _

_ Tauriel froze at that voice. It was his voice. She made sure no one had seen her sneak away. The runestone in her palm felt warmer than it did seconds before. The noise in the city to the right of her coming from the commotion of elves and humans subsided.  _

_ “The stars at the sky is a beautiful sight”  Tauriel agreed as her eyes did not shift away from the twinkling gems.  _

_ She heard him laugh and it made her close her eyes as that magical sound filled her.  _

_ “I was not referring to the beauty of the stars. I know someone far more beautiful. Could make a grown man crash to the floor. Her red hair is a fiery flame and her eyes are the color of a green fern. She is kind and reckless”  _

_ Her heart beat faster and her now opened eyes darted to the left of her. She had walked outside of the walls of Dale, and out a gaping hole in the stone wall. How had he found her? How had he managed to sneak upon her was a mystery to her as well. She sighed, truthfully it was he who clouded her mind.  _

_ “Hello” she said trying to restrain the heat of a blush from reaching her cheeks. Her keen eyes saw the beginnings of a smile form at his lips. That irritating, cocky and lovely side grin that she absolutely loved and hated.  _

_ “I can see you are at loss of words” he said, hands behind his back, approaching her with slow steps.  _

_ “What is a Prince of Erebor doing out here at this late hour?” she asked as she narrowed her eyes to keep her voice from shivering. He really had kept his promise and of course she was speechless and feeling rather sheepish. Having anger in her mind would keep her from blushing. Having no control over her mind, body and voice was so frustrating to her.  _

_ Kili saw hints of accusation in her eyes as he stopped in front of her. He was so close that she could see the reflection of the stars in his dark eyes. The eyes that have captivated her so easily and have kept her prisoner since the day they met.  She cursed her mind as she gave him a pointed look. _

_ “I came for a walk. And I wanted to step foot in Dale”  _

_ His voice was calm and his facade was collected. She scuffed and reached for his hand, ignored the roaring fire that traveled through her veins as they touched, and returned him the stone.  _

_ “Just because we have seen each other does not mean you need to return this to me” he announced a serious shade taking up his face. _

_ He watched Tauriel with hints of confusion in his stare as she sighed heavily. _

_ “It was a mistake to take that stone from you. It's a mistake I am talking to you now”  _

_ Her voice and words shot arrows into his heart and she bit her lip as she could see his eyes fall sadly to the stone in his palm.  _

_ “I made my thoughts clear about how I feel about you” he whispered without looking up at her.  _

_ “This can't be” she whispered with a shake of her head. Tauriel turned to walk away but Kili grabbed her wrist with strength that surprised her. _

_ He did not say a word. He just stared at her as he pushed her back gently. His expression was serious and his eyes were filled with a deep pain that she regretted planting.  _

_ “Kili” she hissed as he still did not say a word. She felt her feet move as she walked backwards as her hand grabbed the collar of his coat to have better balance. She felt her back hit the stone wall as they both retreated into shadows the stone wall was giving off, away from the casting light of the torches from Dale.  _

_ “You cannot hide your feelings from me” he whispered dropping his hands at his sides.  _

_ “Feelings?” she hissed… “What feelings?” _

_ He chuckled darkly. “Tauriel. You are not as good of a liar as you think you are”  _

_ “You don't know me! You don't know what I feel” she shot back and she once again tried to walk away but a hand at her hip grounded her.  _

_ “Explain this then” he demanded as he reached forward and pressed his body to hers and she felt like melting. A sigh escaped her lips and her head spun. His body felt so hard and toned against hers. The warmth radiating from him made head spin.  _

_ Up close he wasn't so short compared to her so his body was pressed against hers in almost  equal height. That also meant that her breasts pressed against his chest making him feel lightheaded.  _

_ “Explain that reaction” he demanded his breath hitting her cheek. She closed her eyes once again.  _

_ She stood there quietly with her hands at her sides ordering them to stay there when she knew she was dying to touch him. _

_ “Explain this” he proceeded as his fingertips grazed her cheek and this time he was the one swallowing hard as her skin felt so smooth as if caressing silk. She closed her eyes at feeling his gentle caresses on her cheek, nose, and finally her lips. He touched the eyelashes at her closed eyes.  _

_ “Explain to me why your body reacts to my touches Amralime” he whispered running his lips down the course of her cheeks and up to her temple. She was shivering in his hold, yearning to press him harder and closer against her. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms, and to feel his naked skin beneath her fingertips. She wanted his lips on hers.  _

_ But it could not be. It just couldn't. War was upon them. They were on different sides. They could not be together.  _

_ “Explain it Tauriel” he whispered once again as his lips caressed her ear and that's when her knees felt weak and her chest rose and fell faster. She was stubborn so her hands were still formed into fists at her sides.  _

_ “I don't know” she murmured, stubbornly keeping her head turned away from his. “But I do not want this. Let me go” _

_ They both knew she was lying. But he did as ordered and stepped away.  _

_ “Did that elf prince order you to stay away from me?” he asked, venom dripping from his tone. His jealousy flared and it was so clear in his eyes.  _

_ She shook her head, surprised to hear jealousy in his voice. “I'm ordering myself”  _

_ The clashing pain from her words once again struck his heart with heavy blows. He nodded, taking his gaze away from her. She looked even more beautiful since the last time he saw her. Perhaps she was forbidden to him. Such an exquisite being could not be bound to him, a dwarf who couldn't even attract woman from his own kin.  _

_ “I came to tell you to be careful tomorrow if there is a battle to take place. And I wanted to thank you for saving my life” he said and she turned to him and gave him a nod. _

_ “You are capable of stopping that battle”  _

_ His eyes jerked towards her. “I cannot”  _

_ “Then you can at least not take part in it” she hissed. He was putting himself in danger and that frightened her more than she wanted to admit. But she was supposed to not care..  _

_ “I would follow my king, my uncle, to any battle. They are my family, my honor belongs with them”  _

_ Tauriel’s eyes flared as her need to protect him was set afire. She admired his courage but he was in danger something that worried her beyond words.  _

_ “Your honor will lead you to your death! You are outnumbered Kili!”  _

_ He scoffed and shook his head. “Seconds ago you have told me that you do not want to see me and now you show worry?” _

_ She opened her mouth and closed it as she thought of her answer. She closed her eyes shut and sighed. _

_ “I don't want you to be harmed” she whispered her eyes looking at everything else but him. “I didnt heal you at Laketown just to see you run into a war that you will lose”  _

_ “I hope we aren't forced to fight each other” he said steeling his eyes. He had to find the courage to walk away from her. Her mouth went dry at the thought of raising her daggers against him.  _

_ She saw him turn around when panic settled in her. _

_ “Don't you dare walk away from me!” she hissed her temper rising as he made his way into Dale through the hole of the wall.  _

_ “I'm not the one running away from my feelings” he accused loudly and she felt like she was just showered with icy cold water.  _

_ She quickly grabbed his arm and spun him around. “If Thranduil or a guard sees you, you are not going to be welcomed with smiles”  _

_ He smiled and took out his sword from its sheath. “Let them come”  _

_ Tauriel hissed in frustration and then she suddenly heard elven steps and voices. She quickly grabbed his arm and with all of her strength pulled him up some stairs that led into a tower.  _

_ “Hurry up” she demanded and she grew wide eyed as he grinned.  _

_ “Oh look, she can't keep her hands off of me”  _

_ She looked at him with dangerous eyes and he had to force himself to not find her attractive even though she looked so gorgeous when she was mad.  _

_ “Hurry” she said her voice leaving no room for discussion or mockery. _

_ They reached the top of the stairs and she opened the wooden door stepping inside with Kili in tow.  _

_ “You are unbelievable” she accused shaking her head. He gave her an unimpressed look as he surveyed the small room they had escaped into. It was circular of course. A small window with a ripped curtain in the side of it. Rolls of paper were stacked on top of a table off to the side. A thin tapestry covered the floor and others were stashed in one corner. And of course, a layer of dust covered everything.  _

_ “I've been told I'm unbelievable before” he remarked with a wink and an innocent smile appeared at his lips. _

_ “Kili you can say the most beautiful words one second and be a complete…”  _

_ She stopped as she didn't know what to call him.  _

_ He rolled his eyes. “Idiot? Fool?”  _

_ “Yes” she answered with a wink of her own. _

_ “If I'm an idiot and a fool for falling in love with an elf so be it. A fiery and intense elf of all means”  _

_ Her breath left her in a gasp as her eyes widened. He had said it. He had said the word love so easily with no hesitation whatsoever.  _

_ “What?” she whispered trying to keep her eyes from filling with tears. Kili looked at her with furrowed brows.  _

_ “I'm not going to hide what I feel for you Tauriel. You can tell me to stay away but I will never stop trying”  _

_ She blinked as she felt tears fall down her cheeks.  _

_ “I…Kili… “ _

_ “It's alright” he said in a shake of his head. “You do not have to tell me anything in return. But I can't fight a battle where I might die without telling you that I love you”  _

_ And that was it. She fell deeper into his enchantment then she had already done so. She couldn't breathe as his eyes looked at her with something she couldn't look away from.  _

_ “Valar” she whispered closing her eyes. A sob left her as her walls began to crumble. Her resilient goal to walk away from him was now forgotten.  _

_ “I looked at you and I couldn't remember how I possibly lived before without getting lost in those dark eyes of yours” she whispered, her eyes closed, and a hand at her chest. “I couldn't let myself divulge in this. I just couldn't. We are forbidden to each other”  _

_ Her eyes opened as he stood there looking at her with need and want. She felt exhilarated as she wanted to both run into his arms and run out of that tower.  _

_ “We can't let this happen” she whispered. Her voice almost pled. She was scared and he knew she was. _

_ “Yet you are grasping at the knob at the door… is it to run out of here or to keep yourself from coming to me?”  _

_ She looked down at her hand that was turning white.   _

_ “We can't let this heat build up Kili” she said her resolve melting away as the heat in the room escalated.  _

_ Her body begged for him and she was getting tired of saying no.  _

_ Kili walked towards her as her heart beat increased in speed. His eyes were darkened with passion that made heat rise within her and settle somewhere unfamiliar which left her dazed.  _

_ “Are you sure you don't want to feel heat?” he asked his own breath collapsing as she looked at his lips and down at his body. They were inches away which begged to be closed off.  _

_ She shook her head unable to speak.  _

_ “Do you want this?” he asked as he wanted to hear her consent. The word heat did not leave her mind as that word made her hands finally reach towards him. She touched his jaw and tensed at the strange sensation of his beard.  _

_ She nodded one single movement of her head and she was lifted off her feet.  _

_ “Say it” he whispered as her hands buried in his hair. She bit her lip as she wrapped her legs around him.  _

_ “Yes”  _

_ She felt freedom as she finally said that word and the heat of the room and their bodies rose. She suddenly moaned as he began to press his lips to her neck.  _

_ They came to the table, crashed into the piles of rolls as her hands tried to throw them to the floor. His hands grabbed her bottom as he sat her on the wooden surface. .  _

_ “Mmmhhh” she whispered as she felt his tongue at the base of her neck. His teeth grazed her collarbones making her say his name in the sweetest tone he had ever heard. He pressed kisses to her skin and smiled as she pulled on his hair. Her boots skimmed up and down his own legs as she was in complete oblivion. She slid off her boots and threw them off her feet.  _

_ He proceeded to bite her neck and that's when everything started to make sense. She said it to herself then. She loved him.  _

_ All of those little actions and he already had her moaning his name and they haven't even kissed yet. He smiled, his own heart threatening to bounce out of his chest as he saw her throw her head back. _

_ “Your skin is so soft” he whispered grabbing the sides of her face and touching his forehead to hers.  _

_ She swallowed her fear and looked at him with determination, desire and recklessness. “Kili. Kiss me. Now”  _

_ Oh.. she did not have to tell him twice.  _

_ He grabbed her hips, pressed her to him even closer and stared straight into her green eyes. Their lips crashed with passion as the own stars must of exploded with the sincere desire of the lovers. Their tongues touched one another, skimming over lips and teeth. It was a messy, uncoordinated and lip biting kiss that could set fire to the rain and snow.  _

_ “You are delicious” he whispered heavily as they separated and breathed in much needed air. Her eyes were bright as she pressed their mouths to each other once again. Her hands skimmed over his hips many times as they finally reached under his tunic.  _

_ He moaned against her lips as her fingernails caressed his hip bones at each side. Her fingers skimmed over his abs, impressed with his body and nevertheless aroused from it. Kili was completely at her mercy as she started to untie the laces of his pants. Their kisses grew in intensity as her fingertips slid down the v shape of his toned hips down to a breathtaking area. His pants slacked from the untied laces and they threatened to fall down until she pulled them down. His trousers remained and he shot her a smile that left her wanting more. _

_ Her mind began to wander off to Kili land as he began to kiss down her chin to her neck. Her hands pressed him to her and she could feel his need which made her skin blush even more, something he immediately noticed. _

_ He gave her a side grin which drove her even wilder and she completely surprised him by grinding her hips slightly against his.  _

_ Both of them closed their eyes as the friction could definitely be felt and it was beyond exhilarating.  _

_ “We have too much clothes on” he remarked with a hungry look on his eyes. She nodded rigorously as he reached for her tunic and began to undo the knots. His eyes were so dark and filled with passion. She saw him freeze as her breasts came into view.  _

_ Tauriel closed her eyes as she felt the cold breeze on her naked shoulders. Her eyes were closed but she could feel his wide eyed gaze. _

_ “You are so perfect” he hissed in a lovely whisper. His mouth didn't take long to caress her breasts as her hands dove into his hair again, chuckling and biting her lip with desire. _

_ Her tunic fell to the floor from where it rested at the table. His hand splayed at her ribcage as she sucked in a gulp of air. Her toes curled at feeling his large and rough hands on her that at the same time were so gentle. To be so intimate with someone brought forth a sense of recklessness she had never knew before.  _

_ “Your turn” she whispered tightening her thighs around his hips. He gave her a small smile as her hands were quick to untie laces and untie clasps. His chest was beginning to sneak into view and soon after his upper body was gloriously naked.  _

_ She bit her lip and chewed on it lightly as her fingers touched his chest. The hair there was so foreign to her touch. His muscular arms were mouthwatering and his skin was calling her name.  _

_ “I thought you wanted to keep your distance?” he asked as her hand slid down his toned stomach.  _

_ He was so strangely attractive it made heat surge through her veins. _

_ “Be quiet” she demanded in a whisper. Her eyes were concentrated and her hands did not stop their descent down his body until she arrived at the hem of his grey trousers.  _

_ “You are so beautifully crafted” she said in awe as she shook her head in disbelief.  _

_ “Are you sure about this?” he asked in his deep voice which sent shivers down her spine. He touched her red hair. A flaming fire that was so soft.  _

_ He saw her eyes sparkle in the darkness with a deadly fire that rivaled her hair as her hand sneaked into his trousers. _

_ Kili pressed his lips to hers in a rush as she sent lightning bolts of desire down his body due to her strokes.  _

_ He gasped in her opened mouth at the friction she evoked. Tauriel was exquisite in every way and he couldn't believe that he had her in his arms gasping his name and her hand down his trousers.  _

_ “I was mistaken dwarf” she said with a chuckle that came as a sigh. He stepped away from his pants that were at his ankles and slid them away from them. He grabbed her bottom and with no trouble at all lifted her off the table, her legs around him.  _

_ “What mistake is that?” he asked as he settled her on the ground, on top of a dusty tapestry. He could not hide the  breath he was holding in as he thought she would regret their actions. _

_ But he breathed a sigh of relief as she cuddled next to him and pushed him down to lie flat on his back. He heard her little laugh which he had grown to love. She straddled his hips as he stood up to meet her lips. _

_ “The mistake I made was to assume you had nothing down your trousers” she teased, biting his lip and staring into his eyes.  _

_ “I did tell you to search me” he said with a wink and he was surprised to see that she rolled her eyes.  _

_ She was so beautiful and he couldn't quite believe that he was not dreaming. He looked at her and sighed as he realized he never wanted to let her go. He was so frightened that it would all be a dream and he would wake up. _

_ “Less thinking and more doing” she proposed as his reckless smile returned allowing any dark thoughts to leave for the time being.  _

_ “I want you” he whispered in a desperate hiss which made her heart beat faster.  She wanted him as well. The dampness between her legs was perhaps proof that she yearned for him.  _

_ His hands caressed her back, drawing circles as he waited for her nod. Quick fingers undid the seemingly complicated laces of her tights and turned them around so she would lie down on the ground. She gasped as her back hit the floor. He was surprisingly fast for a dwarf.  _

_ She closed her eyes and her fingers grabbed the tapestry with desire as Kili slid off her tights.  _

_ Tauriel saw him lick his lips as he saw her and suddenly a strange feeling of self consciousness swept her up. He saw the change in her eyes and immediately comforted her. _

_ “You are gorgeous” he said pouring as much love as he could in every word. Tauriel grabbed his hand and placed it at her thigh once she saw his hesitation. Kili pressed little kisses at her cheeks as his hands seduced her skin. _

_ And then he touched her where all of the heat had accumulated, his action making her suck in desperately needed air.   _

_ “Valar” she hissed as he stroked her ever so slowly.  _

_ “Mhh” she whispered and then jumped as he slid in one of his fingers in her. There were small noises surrounding them originating from the action of sliding his finger in and out of her.  _

_ Her closed eyes jerked open as she found his eyes already looking at her expressions. She opened her mouth to scream, to talk, or to breathe but she could not do anything as he was currently making her forget her own name.  _

_ Kili smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and began to move her hips in rhythm of his finger. The sweet sensation drove her insane as she had never felt such an intense feeling before.  _

_ A dwarf had his finger inside of her, she thought to herself.  _

_ “Oh gods” she chuckled as the sensation grew stronger and stronger. She closed her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand. She would scream, she knew she would.  _

_ And then suddenly she was there. Her vision blurred, her insides melted and her head spun. His name was the only word on her mind and that was the word she moaned aloud as both of her hands scratched his toned back.  _

_ “Ride it like a wave” he advised as she shook beneath him. Her eyes opened as she looked at him.  _

_ “That was..” she whispered not finding the right words to describe the sensation. Her voice was raspy and quiet.  _

_ “The heat is delicious isn't?” he asked. Tauriel nodded and agreed wholeheartedly.  _

_ “I want to taste you” he then said. His tone had her swallowing hard as she wasn't sure what he meant. But she felt his mouth at her neck and as it started to descend south she had an idea of what he meant. _

_ “Uhh Kili…”  she whispered as she was already losing control of any coherent thought. His mouth at her breasts had her sighing contently and then he moved lower. Both his hands grasped her small waist. She felt his tongue slip past by her bellybutton and she gasped.  _

_ “Kili” she repeated. He gave her a final smile and then he went in between her legs.  _

_ Her mouth ran dry as she held onto his hair for dear life. She felt his tongue on her most intimate part and she opened her mouth in astonishment.  _

_ She cursed in her mother tongue as she pulled on his hair.  _

_ “Ohhh… don't stop” she moaned, closing her eyes and smiling as she threw her head back.  _

_ Kili’s hands dug into the skin on her hips as she made the most encouraging noises. She finally tighten her thighs around him and gasped repeatedly. She tried to push him away but he stayed there driving her to the very edge of the heated sensation.  _

_ She shook in his hold as he finally looked up at her. Saying that she looked so pretty was an understatement. Her eyes were closed in bliss, a smile was at her lips, her skin was flushed a deep red and a thin sheet of sweat covered her lovely and small body. And above all, her fiery hair surrounded her making her look like a goddess.  _

_ “Gorgeous being” he whispered as she rose up to greet his lips tasting her own essence on his tongue. They collapsed to the floor in messy kisses. _

_ “That was wild” she murmured as she pulled down his trousers with her hands and then her toes pulled them all the way down. Her eyes widen at the sight. Now it was his turn to blush and become hesitant but his cockyness overpowered and he shot her a side grin. _

_ "Come and walk with me on the wild side" he whispered, his voice sending shivers down to strange places.  _ _ “You like what you see my lady?”  _

_ Her desperate hands reached for him once again.  _

_ “Will it hurt?” she asked a hint of fright in her green eyes. He wasn't exactly small… nothing about his body was in proportion to hers. Kili froze his aching desire as he tended to her doubts.  _

_ “If it does we will stop immediately” he whispered rubbing his nose to hers. She swallowed as she saw love and sweetness in his eyes that were aimed at her.  _

_ “I want to try” she murmured, feeling tears gather at her eyes at the way he looked at her.  _

_ He turned on his back and she instinctively straddled his hips. Their naked bodies felt so good as they touched each other.  _

_ “You take control and we will go at your pace” he said, his voice coming in short breaths at having her on top of him completely naked.  _

_ Tauriel’s eyes did not leave his as she swallowed all of her fears away and mandated herself to ride on this breathtaking adventure… quite literally.  _

_ A gasp and moan left him as she slid onto him ever so slowly. Her eyes half closed in passion as she felt the unavoidable stretch. And that's when she felt the stinging of the pain and her instinct took over and stopped her descent and slipped back up again.  _

_ “I'm sorry” she whispered her cheeks flaming hot as he rose and gave her a smile. He shook his head and grasped the sides of her face with gentle hands. _

_ “Don't apologize Amralime”  _

_ “I want to try again” she said with determination in her voice as he looked at her with a serious gaze. The desire in her only flared up with more intense sparks as she felt him inside of her and she wanted to feel that again. The pain stung but she could now endure it because she knew the extent of it.  _

_ “Tauriel” he whispered. He did not want to hurt her. Causing her pain brought great worry to him.  _

_ “Again” she whispered her chest quickly rising and falling. He gave her a silent nod, not wanting to argue with her determination. He looked down at her to check that no blood was dripping out of her. As he saw nothing he raised his gaze to her.  _

_ He did not lie down to the floor but instead he cradled her in his arms as she descended once again onto him. This time she prepared for the pain and she bit her lip so she wouldn't complain aloud.  _

_ “Slowly” he whispered his arms around her back holding her in place to aid her retreat just in case she would want to stop.  _

_ She gasped under her breath and a small painful moan left her which suddenly made him want to stop everything. But she gently pushed him down and started to kiss him with heated passion and that's when the temperature of the room reached dangerous heights.  _

_ “I'm alright” she whispered in a gasp as she started to move. He gave her a careful look as he moved his hips in sync with hers. His hands reached for her breats and cradled them in his palms once he saw the pain disappear from her eyes.  _

_ She moaned his name in gentle gasps. Music to his ears. He could die happy as long as his last thought was her voice saying his name in the manner she was moaning it now.  _

_ “Mahal Tauriel” he hissed as she moved faster and he could not help himself but flip them around so he could have some small control as well. She smiled with her eyes closed in bliss as her legs tighten around him. Kili looked down at her and could not believe the sight. Never in a million years would he had imagined to have an elf lass underneath him moaning his name. But now there she was and he was going to make her see stars.  _

_ “Ohh” she hissed turning her head as the familiar waves were getting closer. Kili could feel it coming as well. He was gasping for air as he picked up speed. She bit her lip again and again as everything started to cave in. Black dots danced in her sight. His body became a lifeline as she held tight onto him with fears that if she let go he would disappear.  _

_ He felt her walls tighten around him as she cried his name to the darkness around him. Kili followed after her as his own head spun with full bliss.  _

_ He kissed her lips slowly and she gasped next to his mouth as she felt hot liquid inside of her which now dripped down her thighs.  _

_ “How was that?” he asked breathing in harshly. She smiled at him unable to speak yet.  _

_ Their bodies were still connected as she began to move her hips once again. _

_ “I’ll take that as a sign that you enjoyed it” Kili teased pressing a soft kiss to her lips. _

_ “I never thought I would have a dwarf on top of me” she whispered feeling so unlike herself. His hands slid up from her stomach to her breasts.  _

_ “On top of you… or inside of you. Yet here I am” he said with a wink. _

_ She chuckled. The soft noise making him smile like an idiot. _

_ “I can't believe a dwarf is touching me all over” she whispered letting her tongue caress his lips. _

_ “I can't believe an elf maid is grasping my wonderful arse…” he then said and she did not have time to laugh as his lips claimed hers once again.  _

_ They made love throughout the night ignoring what tomorrow would bring. If tomorrow he would die, at least he would die content as the love of his life was there with him, in body and soul.  _

_ And that pretty elf lass was currently moaning his name and branding hers on his skin. So war, fear and uncertainty could go fuck themselves.  _

* * *

Tauriel walked through the streets of Dale and did not answer to anyone calling to her. Her body was exhausted and the pain that surrounded her left everything feeling dark and desolate.

The streets were filled with bodies. The pain around her collided with hers making her heart turn icy cold. 

Her eyes did not cry anymore. Her heart ached beyond comprehension but she kept her stride consistent. She had not reach that tower at the edge of the city. 

Minutes later she arrived. 

Her eyes scanned it and it was as if the last arrow pierced her heart because she sunk to her knees and screamed his name in agony. 

And that’s when she promised herself she would never repeat his name ever again. The image of his eyes came to her as she rose to her feet. Tauriel wiped her eyes and cheeks and took a deep breath. 

She made her way to the tower and stared at the snow covered stairway snaking around it. She stepped into the first step.

His lips came to her mind.

Second step. 

His touch. The gentleness of his hands against her skin.

Third step.

The way his body moved beneath her hands.

Fourth step. 

His laugh.

Fifth step.

His voice.

Sixth step. 

His way of driving her insane with desire.

Seventh step. 

The way he said her name. As if no one else had ever said it. Each syllable filled with sweetness. 

She closed her eyes and began to climb faster as she remembered everything there was to remember about Kili. She had fallen in love. And now as she opened the door she couldn't help but hate herself for it. 

“Reckless dwarf. How on earth did I fall in love with you?” she whispered with a weak smile slamming the door and laying down on the floor succumbing to her exhausted state. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	6. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have heard of the horrific news regarding the terror attack in France. My thoughts and best wishes go to the victims, their families and those who witnessed this horrific act. And to any of my readers who are from France, I hope you stay safe and find strength <3

Tauriel awoke to silence. It was like one of those instances where someone wakes up and does not know what time or day it could be.

She opened her eyes slowly. The voice in her head that craved to be optimistic hoped that everything was a nightmare. But the pain she felt in her body and heart dragged her back to the reality of the present.

With a painful groan she rose into a seated position. Her back rested against the wall as she started to remove her corset. With the corset next to her she reached down to her boots and slid them off as well. She had fallen asleep so suddenly she did not have time to remove them to sleep more comfortably.

There was no noise nor voices her ears could hear as she rose to her feet.

Her body was still bruised but her rest had given her the opportunity to heal. But the darkness she felt made her every breath a painful experience.

Tauriel’s eyes did not shed any tears anymore. Truthfully that devastated her profoundly as it meant that crying did not fulfill the need to release the anger, sadness and misery she felt.

“I miss you” she whispered to the darkness and emptiness that surrounded her. She closed her eyes and drew her legs in close to her body. She then stared at the wooden table in front of her where he had made every single spark of her body sing his name. In this tower he had introduced her to the sweetness of desire and passion.

 _Why are you here_ , she asked to herself. Of all the places she could rest and hide away, she had chosen this one. And of course that frustrated her immensely. She had been a captain of a guard, a deadly warrior and now her training did not help her at all. She wanted to be strong, but strength was slipping from her fingertips. It avoided her call. It avoided her need of assistance.

It was as if the own pureness and light of the stars had forsaken her. She nodded her head. Indeed, that was true.

She reached for the runestone that laid next to her on the floor and ran her thumb across it as she thought of she starlight that felt so far away. Running her thumb across the runes brought forth the memories.

_“My mother gave it to me so I would remember my promise”_

Tauriel bit her lip as she remembered him talking about the runestone she held in her hand. That night where she talked about starlight and he about firemoons. Both the stars and moons were fascination to them both. That night she had conversed not to a king, nor a prince nor a guard, but to someone who had listened to her speak as if she was the only one in the world. As if listening to her speak would keep him alive.

The way his eyes looked at her with awe made a smile appear at her lips even now. His cockyness and flirtatious innuendos had dissapeared as he had treated her like someone who deserved a moment of attention with utmost respect. She had never felt so comfortable around anyone. And as that friendship she knew had taken root began to bloom, she found herself craving more than his attention.

And then a tear slid down her cheek. Finally a sign that perhaps she could persevere.

“Kili” she whispered clutching the stone in her hand, bringing it close to her chest. She began to cry, which she felt herself unable to do seconds before.

“Please, come back to me. To your mother. Bring your brother and your uncle with you” she demanded in a low whisper that turned into a plea.

She covered her face with her hands and cried. She allowed her tears to fall with no regret and embarrassment.  

“I do not want this! If this is love, take it away!” she pled as she rose to her feet. Letting the stone drop to the ground, she rushed to the table and grabbed the rolls of paper and threw them against the wall. She felt so empty and yet so full.

“I do not want this!” she screamed throwing a decaying wooden chair against the wall as well. Anything that her hands could grab, she threw to the other side of the room. Rage was flowing through her. How could someone come into her life just to be erased from it? Why did the best people have to die? Why did tragedies happen to those who did not deserve it?

Her thoughts raced, one after the other. Kili and his family did not deserve tragedy. Objects crashed around her as her arms became tired.

She cried, her breath coming in short intervals as she looked at the mess she created. The chaos that laid around her mirrored her heart. She felt chaos roam inside of her as she could not deal with the tremendous heartbreak. Heartbreak that had been a stranger for so long.

Exhausted, Tauriel leaned on the wall, her back sliding down the bricks. Her hair fell around her in a messy manner. She swept it all up to one side of her neck.

“Never make promises you cannot keep my love” she whispered looking at the lonely stone next to her. “I wish you would be here to remind me of the fire”

She smiled to herself. He never stopped mentioning that her hair looked like fire. And then she froze. The funeral.

How long had she been asleep? With fresh fear in her heart she quickly slid on her boots. She quickly rose and located her corset beneath a tapestry she had thrown and that's when her eye caught something.

She eyed the object on the floor as she picked up her blood stained corset. The familiarity of the metal bead on the floor struck her. It had been his. He had worn them at the ends of some of his braids. It was silver of color and a few interlocking lines had been carved into it.

With a trembling hand she reached for it. She closed her eyes as she closed her palm around it.

“Everything will remind me of you. But that's alright. I know that one day I will see you again” she whispered forcing herself to believe such hope.

With her daggers in hand along with the lone bead and runestone she opened the door and began to climb down. The cold took a few seconds longer to reach her compared to regular folk, but it reached her alright. The wind struck her hair, making it wildly fly and sway around her. She already felt cold, nothing to do with the snow, so she forced herself to walk.

She clutched her coat as the winter cold finally managed to make her slightly tremble. It was sudden but she caught some guards running towards the end of one street. She was still weak and her mouth felt dry and she had gone days without food, so she walked slower than everyone else.

“What's the matter?” she asked as she finally made someone stop and he looked familiar.

“You are Tauriel correct?” Bard the bowman asked. The one who had struck the dragon and called death to claim the horrid creature.

She nodded. Bard looked her over with a hint of worry in his eyes. Tauriel did not appear to be there. He wondered if she knew?

“Are your children alright?” she then asked. He gave her a nod and if that gave her a relieved feeling he did not know because the elf in front of her seemed to not give off any emotions at all. He cleared his throat as her eyes seemed to look through him as if he wasn't there.

“Some elves have arrived” he then explained as he noticed she was waiting for him to speak.

She furrowed her brows. “Who?” she asked.

Bard looked towards the lonely mountain that loomed over them all as if giving a reminder that it still stood tall even if its rulers had fallen.

“Thranduil called them the White Council” he said. His pale hand clutched at his coat.

“They will attend the… funeral” she assured. Perhaps the wizard had called to them.

Bard shook his head. “My lady, that is not what this commotion is all about. Everyone is heading to the center of town because Thranduil is making some announcement”

“We shall go listen to his announcement then” Tauriel proposed turning around with intent to walk away towards the center of the city but a hand at her shoulder stopped her.

“Gandalf has asked me to find you and take you to Erebor” Bard began with something lingering in his eyes.

“I'd be grateful if you would stop lingering around with your words” Tauriel said, her voice cold but she relaxed her stance as she regretted the sting in her voice aimed at the man in front of her.

“Come with me” Bard said and it was as if the wind blew especially colder at those words. Those all too familiar words still stung her to hear them. She swallowed as she shook her head.

“Why?”

Bard sighed as the stubborn elf who was noticeably heart broken stared at him with no light in her eyes.

“They have found a way” he announced. “To bring them back”

Tauriel felt as if the wind stopped. As if the cold air stopped attacking her body. As if the snowflakes falling around them halted dead at their tracks.

Her eyes were fixed on the bowman, trying to recover her sanity that was sure to be gone.

And that's when she felt dizziness surround her and her mind stopped thinking. She did not have time to feel herself hit the snow covered ground.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


	7. Promise

It was the second time of that peculiar day that Tauriel awoke without knowing how long she had been away. Her eyes opened slowly and blinked uneasily as she accustomed to the light that surrounded her.

Warmth touched her skin, soothing her goosebumps. Her hands gathered the warm sheet beneath her and soon discovered that she was laying in a large bed. Judging from the architecture of the room she was in Erebor.

“Tauriel”

Her head whipped to the side where someone had called her. A hushed whisper. A familiar face came into focus among others who looked at her with hints of concern.

“Are you alright?”

She saw the hobbit reach to her and touched her cheek with a hesitant caress. She immediately moved away from his touch which made his features freeze.

“Forgive me” he quickly said as he swallowed and nervously rose from his chair and scooted away.

“No. Forgive me” she whispered her throat feeling dry as summer. She looked around the cozy chamber.

“You fainted Tauriel” the wizard was in turn to say. Her brows furrowed at his statement. She had never fainted without a crucial reason.

“How long have I been unconscious?” she asked looking at Gandalf.

“One hour I believe” he answered with a small forced smile. One hour that she had been asleep without her consent. She was far weaker than she had ever thought to believe. That was strange but she kept the thought away for now.

And then her mind rewinded. What Bard had told her came flying to her in a surprise attack. She rose from the bed so quickly that her head spinned.

“Kili” she gasped as the wizard and one of the dwarves supported her gently pushing her back on the bed.

“Where is he?” she asked her voice loud and demanding rising against the hands that pushed her back. Tears streaked down her cheeks without her permission. Speaking his name brought upon her great turmoil.

Bilbo came towards her as she was settled on the bed.

“Take a deep breath” he suggested as she obliged. “Let us explain”

Gandalf cleared his throat as he sat at the foot of the bed and turned to Tauriel. Her eyes were frantic as she took deep breaths.

“There is hope that life can be restored within them” he began looking down at Tauriel’s shaking hands. Some more tears fell silently down her cheeks as she tried to focus on the wizard’s words.

“We are hopeful” Bilbo added but hesitation filled his eyes which Tauriel clearly saw. “But.. we must be ready to receive an unfavorable answer”

“What do you mean?” Tauriel asked as she frantically looked at Gandalf and Bilbo.

“They are in there right now, inspecting if it can be done” Gandalf said. “Lady Galadriel will do anything in her power”

Tauriel swallowed heavily and felt her chest grow hotter and hotter.

“They have suffered great wounds” Bilbo then began waiting for Tauriel to absorb the information given to her.

“They will suffer” she then whispered her eyes becoming clouded.  
“She has assured me they will not” Gandalf quickly said as Tauriel threw her feet over the edge of the bed.

“Will you not bring more pain?” she then asked as she rose and everyone could sense anger surrounding her.

“Is this not your hope?” Bilbo asked with confused eyes. “To see them alive once again?”

She shook her head. “They will be in pain. You do not understand what she will do”

Bilbo looked at Gandalf as the wizard sighed and closed his eyes.

“She will ignite the spark of life but they will be left with the chance of claiming it. Their wounds will not be able to heal nor be tended to until after they choose to open their eyes”

Bilbo shook his head. “If there is a way. We must at least try!”

“I don't want him to be in pain” she whispered feeling defeated as she looked around the room. It had seemed as if everyone had made a decision.

“Tauriel” the dwarf with the silly hat came forward. “They are strong. They will fight darkness and death and return to us”

Tauriel’s eyes glowed like fire. That word yet again: _Return._

“Foolish promise” she whispered running her hands through her hair.

“He is correct. We will try” Gandalf then said as his hand rested on her shoulder. “They would have wanted this chance”

“I want to see him” she then whispered. It was evident that a decision had been made and perhaps she wanted to believe in hope. It had deserted her. But now, something within her wanted to welcome in hope with so much desperation that it rivaled her need to see him.

“We are not allowed to go in the chamber until she is finished” Bilbo then said. “And even after that…”

“Let them rest in peace” she then whispered, interrupting the hobbit, her eyes pleading as she looked at him. “The pain will be excruciating”

“The decision has been made” Gandalf then said his eyes warm and almost apologetic. “Erebor needs a king and princes”

“I advise that you rest some more” Bofur proposed pointing at the bed.

Gandalf gave her a nod as she took a deep breath. “We will inform you when she will begin the process”

Tauriel’s jaw hardened as she made her way towards the bed. She did not say a word as everyone started to vacate the chamber. Another dwarf who she did not remember the name of waved at her. He was one of the younger ones she was sure.

She turned around towards the door as Gandalf was about to close it.

“You do not tamper with death” Tauriel announced.

Gandalf looked at her. The fiery elf in front of her had so much strength inside of her that he wondered where she had suddenly obtained it from. She looked different. Something about her was changed. And something told him that it was not grief that had changed her so completely. He brushed the thought away as he faced the elf.

“If I recall correctly you tampered with death when you saved Kili at Laketown”

She looked away and did not answer. The doors closed gently and she was now alone. The fire roaring at the hearth was the only sound keeping her company.

“What is happening?” she asked as she closed her eyes and massaged her temples. There was so much information to swallow. There was a powerful elf under the mountain who could return life. Kili could could come back. He could keep his promise. Could it be possible?

She groaned and allowed herself to fall back to the pillows as she clutched at her chest. Something had been torn open once again and she hated the pain that lurked within her now stronger than ever. If she regained hope she was sure it would kill her. She lost him once, could she bare losing him once again?

She reached for the runestone and bead she kept safely tucked inside her corset. Her thumb grazed the carved runes on the stone as she stared at the fire roaring in the fireplace. Red flames licked the stone walls surrounding the hearth. Its warmth reaching her and strangely offering calming caresses.

“You're dead” she whispered closing her eyes yearning to remember the feeling of his hands on her skin. “Why are they telling me you could come back?”

Her tired eyes opened as they filled with tears. She brushed them away before they fell and a resilient look casted upon her eyes.

“He deserves to live Tauriel” she then said oddly speaking to herself. Her voice was hoarse but loud. It did not matter that she could die if she lost him once again, what mattered above all, is that he would have the chance to live. He was strong, along with his kin, and they could fight the darkness that had swallowed them. Lady Galadriel could help them return. She rose from the bed, fighting her weakened state. Her body groaned in distaste for movement but she needed to speak to the lady of light. Someone whom Tauriel had heard many tales of but never had the privilege to look upon. With the stone and bead in her hand she made her way to the door. Her hand grasped the wooden handle and pushed it down but as she did nothing occurred. It was locked.

Tauriel froze as she tried the handle once again but the door did not budge an inch.

“What in Valar name is going on?” she hissed as she returned the stone and bead to her corset and with both hands tried to open the door to no victory.

A sense of imprisonment came upon her and her panic rose to dangerous heights. She _detested_ the feeling of being confined.

“Open this door at once!” she screamed as she banged both hands on the door. The wood rattled lightly but the thick slab would never be brought down even by her.

Her eyes glazed with fire as she reached for her dagger and tried to manipulate the lockset.

She cursed in her language many times over as she slammed the door with her fist.

“Tauriel”

She heard someone called and her anger rose. Her fist did not stop the banging.

“Let me out this instance!” her voice was loud and it wore a frightening tone. She heard hushed whispers on the other side but no one came close to the door.

“We cannot let you out” Bilbo said. He was apologetic and trying to be kind with his words.

“Why not?” Tauriel asked, her voice still sharp as daggers.

“You cannot see him. Not yet” it was another voice. And it took her a moment to realize it was Balin, one of the older dwarves.

Tauriel’s chest heaved.

“And why is that?” she asked staring at the door as she would be starring at those on the other side.

“He has to fight for his own will. She has said that having you there will not be wise. One look at him and she knew about you. Lady Galadriel knows of the bond that existed between the two of you”

Tauriel closed her eyes as she began to understand.

“I only wish to see him for a few seconds” she announced softly her anger retreating. Her hand laid flat against the door as she pressed her forehead to the wood.

She could hear the answer to her request before Balin spoke.

“Not yet dear”

She swallowed heavily.

“We will bring you food and water” Bilbo proposed his voice closer than before.

“Let me out. I can keep away. Trust me”

She tried to sound convincing but even to her own ears she had failed.

“We will be back with food and perhaps request a set of clothing from your kin?” Balin asked.

Tauriel sighed. “I'm sure Thranduil would not mind to hear that I'm being kept locked in a room of stone”

She heard her companions share whispers.

“What you can do now is eat and rest lass” Balin then said and they both turned to walk again. Tauriel heard the shuffle of their feet.

“Elves do not do well locked away and worse… I'm locked away under a mountain of stone”

“At least for today” Bilbo said his voice kind and hopeful.

She did not answer as she walked back to the bed that suddenly felt uncomfortable as she knew she was _forced_ to stay there.

No voices were heard outside the door. No noises but her own breathing and the fire crackling the wood at the hearth.

She wanted to sleep so the confusion would drift away. She desired the type of sleep that carried one off to the sky and kept them there until the end of time.

* * *

*flashback*

Tauriel was the first to wake. Her back was aligned to his chest and their legs intertwined. Stirring in his arms, she wanted to become closer to him even though they were already pressed to each other.

“It's morning” Kili whispered. His voice was heavy and sleepy. It brought a smile to her face.

She then sighed as he pressed kisses to the back of her neck. Little sparks were sent down her entire body at the feeling of his beard scraping her skin.

“Indeed it is morning” she answered contently. Her eyes closed and tried to ignore the fact that they would soon need to depart.

“Let's stay here for a bit longer” he proposed. “My kin won't wake up this early. It isn't healthy for us to be up and about right now”

She chuckled out loud, her hand reaching up to cover her mouth.

“Then we shall stay longer, for your well being”

He smiled against her skin. “Thank you my love”

She shivered at his words and she gathered his hands in hers.

“Last night was wonderful” she whispered blinking her eyes as they still did not accustom to the lingering darkness of the cold early morning. She would remember such morning for her entire existence. And their shared night would forever hold something special in her memory.

“It was indeed wonderful” he agreed his hand outlining her hip bones and traveling down her belly button. She sucked in some air as his finger was so close to where she yearned to be touched, only for him to stop. He loved to tease. It fit his personality so well, she almost expected it.

“You woke me up twice because you couldn't get enough of me” he then said with a prideful tone that made her cheeks blaze with fire. She bit her lip as she felt his need begin to grow and hers to intensify.

“It is not my fault that you are quite an exquisite lover master dwarf” she murmured turning around in his arms to face him. He immediately captured her lips with his own.

“You want to again?” he asked against her lower lip which he playfully bit. She pressed her hips to his and wrapped a leg around him.

“Surprise me again” she whispered and her breath stopped as his fingers teased her becoming wet from her desire. Her desire was indeed fully noted.

He wasted no time and in one smooth motion he entered her, capturing her. Her toes curled at the sensation that never grew old. He filled her wonderfully and hit just the right angles.

“Mmhhh” he whispered as they built their speed. He noted her walls tightening around him and in that second he stopped. She whined out loud as he exited her and gave her a wink.

He swiftly gathered her in his arms and rose to his feet with her in tow.

“Why did you do that?” she asked her voice panting. She looked so beautiful with her hair stuck to her sweat- slicked skin.

A smile slowly spread over his lips as he pressed her against the wall.

“The floor is getting old” he breathed as he entered her again. Her lean and long legs were around him in a second as he began thrusting upwards into her. He thrusted, swiveled and kissed her lips. Right in that order.

“Yes” she moaned her breath faltering under her. Her fingers dove in his hair, sneaking around hidden braids. Her thumb touched one of his metal beads and caressed the carvings.

Her thoughts changed as she began to feel everything cave once again. His lips scorched her skin at her neck while the back of her hands slammed backwards against the wall.

“Oh gods” she hissed closing her eyes as he began to increase the speed in response to her moans. He cursed and hissed against her skin as he was so close to be driven to the edge. His hand that was at her neck slid down between their sweat slickened bodies and his fingernails raked her skin, the sensation making her toes curl and a small smile appear at her lips. She looked down as his fingers caressed and pressed her gently. Tauriel moaned in response as she threw her head back softly hitting the stone wall.

Tauriel then saw him become undone through her hooded eyes. His fist slammed the wall next to her head. His eyes closed and his teeth captured his bottom lip with a hard bite. His breath hit her cheek and she felt the rush of the warm liquid inside of her. Watching him fall into bliss was all she needed and she too shook in his hold.  

“Glorious” he breathed capturing her earlobe with his mouth.

“Dwarven stamina surprises me” she then said her voice raspy as the last waves of the amazing sensations abandoned her.

He grabbed her arms, sliding his hands up to hers and lined them up to the wall above her head.

He gave her a blinding smile. “You drive me insane”

Tauriel chuckled a breathy laugh. His hands then grabbed her breasts.

“You are exquisite my darling”

She pressed her forehead to his and tapped his nose with hers.

“And you have been crafted by the gods themselves” she murmured. Her hands traveled down the toned lines of his torso and licked her lips.

“Is that so?” he asked loving the way her hands explored his body.

She vigorously nodded as she caressed his chest loving the way the coarse hair felt beneath her hands. They slid down to his abdomen and followed the wonderful trail of hair that traveled south to the part of his body that made her scream his name. He was the epitome of manliness and she felt like a young lass who fanned herself every time her eyes laid upon him.

“I don't want to leave you” he then whispered. His eyes changed as her rose to look upon them. They became warm and loving and not desire driven as moments before. She lowered her legs to the floor, unwinding from his hips and pressed him in a tight embrace.

Her feet touched the floor for only a few seconds before he scooped her up once again and laid her at the floor. He joined her there, and she scooted close and laid her head at his chest. His arm was under her head while the other wrapped around her.

“I want this moment to freeze” she said closing her eyes loving the feel of his warm skin pressing against hers. “To not move forward so we could stay here”

And to her astonishment tears came to her eyes. He immediately felt one hit his skin and his hand reached to lift her chin so he could look at her. She did not know where the tears came from nor she wanted to cry but it all just happened.

Kili’s heart broke at such a sight as she cried and her arms reached for him and wrapped around his neck.

“Darlin’ what's wrong?” he whispered his own voice cracking. She looked so small and fragile as he cuddled her tightly.

“I'm sorry” she gasped as the tears came, one after the other.

He shook his head, his fingers brushing her tears away.

“Do not apologize my love” he softly ordered. His arms around her felt so protective and she loved to dwell in that for a few minutes. She needed to feel someone else protect her as always being the strong one was sometimes tiring.

He kissed her lovely face many times and whispered strings of lovely words. He then reached for his clothes and searched for the stone.

“Hey” he then said trying to get her attention as currently she hid her face at the crook of his neck.

She rose and met his warm eyes which warmed her up instantly.

Kili pressed the stone into her hand.

“That promise still stands” he then said his eyes serious. “Whenever I leave you for any reason know that I will always make my way back to you. I would fight every orc just to get to you Amralime”

She smiled and more tears slid down her cheeks.

“I will always return to you. I love you Tauriel. You are the owner of my heart”

Tauriel beamed at such lovely words. Her lips captured his in a soft meeting.

“Alright?” he asked and she nodded.

“Owner of your heart” she repeated with a toothy grin. “And your body?”

He chuckled and nodded as his fingertips slid down her nose and lips, caressing her before diving in and kissing the breath away from her.

“You are mine” she then said breathing in harshly, pressing both her hands at the sides of his face.

“And you are mine” he then said his possessive tone returning. “That elven Prince does anything and my fist will make contact with his face”

She gasped and she shook her head. A laugh escaped her.

“Please do not hit Legolas”

Kili narrowed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“Defending him I see” he playfully growled and pressed hot kisses to her neck. Her laugh was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Such a lovely sound to match a lovely individual.

“You are jealous” she then noted.

“My dear Tauriel. If you saw another woman look at me the way Legolas looks at you. I assure you that you would get jealous as well”

Her eyes blinked rapidly at the realization that he was correct. Heat rose in her and pounded her heart. The thought of someone else touching him the way she touched him. Someone else in his arms, someone else seeing him naked, and above else… someone else claiming his affection, was a frightening thought.

“They won't dare” she hissed wrapping her leg around him in a manner that one plants a flag in their claimed territory. His hand slid up her leg enjoying the smoothness of her skin.

“You want this wonderful arse just for yourself then?” he asked wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. She playfully hit his shoulder with a smile and nodded with warning.

“It better only be mine Kili. I mean it”

He came closer to her and kissed her nose in such a lovely manner that her eyes closed on their own accord. “Yes ma’am. Kili, Prince of Erebor, at your service”

Well. He did offer his services alright. It must be said, that morning was not particularly quiet.

* * *

They finally parted a few hours later. They both stood there, outside, feet on the snow and staring at each other. In that moment Kili wanted time to stop so he could stare into Tauriel’s green eyes for ever. Those eyes that had captured him that were now wet with tears that threatened to fall.

How could he let her go? He was scared that he would never see her again.

“We’ll meet again” she whispered nodding her head and sniffing away her tears. Kili gave her a small smile that did not lack doubt, and reached to brush some strands of her hair away from her lips and captured them in a swift and soft kiss. His arms tightened around her, then pressed another kiss at her forehead as she tried to control her loud breathing. She did not want to let go of him.

“Yes” was all he said before stepping away. She swallowed and bit her lip to keep herself from going to him once again. The stone in her hand felt as heavy it had been back at Laketown where he had first given it to her. And once again she stood there, looking at him with all the hope she could own. The mountain stood tall behind him. The mountain that belonged to him. Sometimes she forgot he was a prince.

“Keep the stone. Keep it safe” he said in a smile that tried to warm her up.

“You're going to show me the caverns” she reminded taking a step towards him. He chuckled. Of course she had remembered.

“I will take you anywhere” he added his voice soft and full with promises.

“Don't be too reckless. Be careful” she then whispered. He gave her a nod and a wink.

“You too gorgeous”

Her lips spread slowly in a blushing smile. “This is the part where we walk away”

He raised his brows and turned his feet. “You're right. Yes”

They both turned around obviously not wanting to walk away. But they both took small steps in opposition directions.

“I love you” she then said loud enough for him to hear. The words felt foreign to her tongue but they also felt sweet as if the words _I love you_ had their own distinctive taste. And saying them to the dwarf in front of her felt right. She was a fool for falling for that smiling idiot but she could not help herself. And if love made her a fool, then so be it. 

Kili stopped in his tracks at the sincerity of her tone as she declared her love. He looked over his shoulder and sent her a smile brighter than the sun itself.

“I love you too” he whispered and he knew she heard it because he heard her giggle and it was her small laugh that gave him the courage to keep on walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


	8. Luminous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> turn. of. events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :)

“Can they be brought back?” Gandalf asked as Galadriel sat at a chair in front of him.

A soft glow of light moved with her as if it outlined her body. Her warm beauty and calm facade shattered the harsh environment of any room. As of now, Erebor felt at peace as if death had not taken place outside its doors.

“Their injuries are grand” she began her eyes staring into Gandalf’s as if he were the only one present. He did not look down as he looked at her intently. Gloin and Balin were also present and they too stood still as they were captivated by the elf in front of them. They listened intently to every word that escaped her mouth.

“I believe that they are strong. I feel their strength. We could try. Elrond is sure of it”

Gandalf sighed as a small smile took upon his face. Balin and Gloin released the breath they did not realize they had held.

“The risks are great indeed” Galadriel said, interrupting the content smiles. “However, without risk we would never know if they were ever meant to walk among the living once again”

“We understand the risks my lady” Gandalf said as he glanced at the dwarves. “We appreciate the chance you and Lord Elrond have bestowed upon them”

The Lady of Light gave him a nod. A slight tilt of her head made the wizard curious.

“I would like to meet her” she whispered as she closed her eyes. “I can almost feel the beating of her reckless and young heart. She is but a child”

“Yes” Gandalf obliged as they both shared what seemed like a secretive smile. “Indeed she is”

“Who?” Gloin asked as both the wizard and elf rose.

“Tauriel” Balin answered as his eyes did not leave Galadriel.

“Beautiful name” she then said with a smile as she stood in front of the chair. Her hands were intertwined before her as she walked to the door. Her white dress trailed behind her leaving a pool of silk to swipe across the floor. Her hair fell in light gold waves down her front and her kind blue eyes were calculating as she examined her surroundings.

Balin caught up to her easy stride as they exited into the hallway.

“We have her in a chamber. It is likely that she would want to sneak off and see Kili. We have kept her away as you requested”

She gave him a side smile as she looked ahead.

“She is reckless indeed”

All three nodded with a knowing look.

“I am sure she won't be too happy now. You must understand her if she comes across as... rude”

“It is much to believe. So many thoughts running through her mind. I assure you, I will be understanding of her pain”

“She’s getting quite ansty in there” Bofur called as they approached the door. As he saw Galadriel he bowed his head slightly.

“Get me out!”

They all heard Tauriel yell and more banging on the door followed. It continued to get louder and louder.

Gandalf cleared his throat as Galadriel elegantly rose a brow.

“She does not do well under lock and key apparently”

She chuckled lightly as Tauriel screamed again.

“I will not go see him. Just let me out please”

As Galadriel approved with a gentle nod, Balin unlocked the door. The banging had stopped but the yelling had not.

“Let me…” Tauriel was about to say as she sat there, mouth agape.

She was seating on the bed with an utmost shocked expression.

“Hello” Galadriel greeted as everyone sneaked a view into the room. Tauriel instantly flushed as she allowed her gaze to fall to the floor.

“Forgive my yelling” she said as she shut her eyes as the embarrassing moment almost pained her. The Lady of Light was standing in front of her and she was hoping it was all a dream so she would wake up without the awful embarrassment.

“Elves do not do well under lock and key. Especially under a mountain of stone”

Tauriel was not sure if to nod or listen intently. So she did both.

“I have heard that you oppose what we are trying to accomplish”

Tauriel threw a pointed look towards Gandalf and Balin who quickly looked somewhere else.

“I want them to simply rest in peace”

Her throat became dry as Kili bounced into her mind once again. Her eyes became wet and she could feel the tears there. She quickly hid her face by looking at the floor and allowing her hair to fall around it.

“It is an opportunity for them to live, child. The three of them are young. And would you not want them to rule the kingdom they have fought hard to obtain?” Galadriel then asked. Her voice was gentle and soothing. She took a step closer to Tauriel but she instantly stopped her movements.

“Is something the matter?” Gandalf asked as Tauriel furrowed her brows as the golden elf looked at her with undivided attention and a shocked look on her beautiful face. Her eyes were piercing like arrows as if staring into Tauriel’s soul.

“Nothing is the matter” she then said as she seemingly looked flustered. Gandalf noted that and it was out of her character to act in such a way.

“He would want to return to you” she then whispered, clearing her throat and then looking at Tauriel. Her voice surprised the redhead as she had looked at her for many long seconds without a spoken word.

“I do not want him to be in more pain”

Galadriel sat beside her on the bed and Tauriel actually felt nervous. She could feel the energy radiating of the glowing elf beside her and it was among the most incredible energies she had felt.

“He is strong. He will fight. He has many reasons”

Tauriel did not change her facade as she sat still as a rock. Galadriel seemed to be aware of everything.

“Our love could never be” Tauriel then said stabilizing the shake of her voice. She swiftly stood up, bowed to Galadriel and walked out of the room.

“Let her go” Balin then said as Bilbo and Dwalin looked ready to stop her.

She walked away with her head raised high as the tears leaked down her cheeks which she angrily wiped away. He was so close that she could almost feel the tingle of her skin from a soft caress of his touch. She knew he was around in a chamber on that level as her heartbeat moved quickly and steady.

“We will begin soon” she then heard a familiar voice call to her. She stopped and turned around but she could not see Galadriel. In fact she was perfectly alone. She wiped her cheeks and tried to question her sanity.

“He will come back to you. But he needs your help. You must believe in him”

Tauriel took a deep breath and gritted her teeth and steeled her gaze.

“Please do not make him walk a path of pain” she thought hoping whatever communication was occurring travelled both ways. “He died from a terrible death. Do not hurt him more”

“There is much that connects you to him. Allow your strength to go to him as he is the one with the worst wound”

Tauriel closed her eyes shut and she slammed her hand on the wall.

“What is going on?” she asked outloud to the silence around her. “Why is this happening?”

Her head spun with stress and she felt exhausted beyond belief. The facts suddenly hit her and it was if she got thrown against a rock wall. Kili could come back. It all could end well. The hope she kept away wanted to reach her but she closed her eyes and forced it away.

She could not handle more pain, she thought to herself. Letting down her guard again was foolish. She was sure she was not strong enough.

“Make it stop” she pled as her thoughts raced. She felt nauseous and unstable on her feet within a second. And in the next, she crashed to the floor. The weakness and delicacy she now owned were foreign to her. Fainting was not a familiar act. That continued to happen to her it seemed. Falling down was becoming a habit.

* * *

“Her body has sustained multiple injuries” Gandalf explained as everyone waited outside the chamber’s door where Tauriel was asleep. “She has not given time for her healing to occur”

Bilbo nodded along with the rest of the dwarves who seemed to understand.

“But she is an elf” Ori noted. Chatter and nods took place after the comment.

“She is supposed to be strong and powerful” Bofur added.

Dwalin pointed at him with certainty. “Bofur is right. She should be healed by now. Perhaps something is really wrong”

Gandalf sighed as he looked back at the closed door. He was pleasantly glad and surprised the dwarves showed concern but he asked them to lower their voices. “I am sure Lady Galadriel will heal her injuries and she will assure she does not faint again”

But the Lady of Light had other thoughts racing through her mind. She stared at the redhead on the bed, sleeping soundly. She was sure to wake soon so there was no alarm in Galadriel’s eyes.

It was so strange for her to feel such.. energy. Knowing the situation sparked her curiosity.

Tauriel’s eyes opened slightly and her breath hitched in her throat as Galadriel’s gaze moved away from the floor and landed on her.

“Hello, again” she greeted as Tauriel took a deep breath and she tried to move to a seating position.“You fell to the ground. You should be more careful” Galadriel said, her voice soft and almost pleading.

“I thank your concern and hold it in high regard my lady, but I am fine” Tauriel answered. Her voice was convincing but Galadriel shook her head.

“Tauriel” she began as she sat on the bed next to her. “Let your mind run with no thoughts and feel everything within you”

Tauriel opened her mouth to speak but closed it as she felt confused…. “I do not know what you mean”

Galadriel sighed. An action as close to being impatient as the Lady of Light could be.

“Do you feel different?” she asked hoping Tauriel could notice something beyond her pain.

“Everything feels different” Tauriel answered, still confused as to what answer Galadriel was seeking.

“You are not ill. Nor you are weak because of your injuries” Galadriel then said holding Tauriel’s gaze with a magnetic pull that the redhead could not beat. Galadriel held out her hand and pointed at her.

“I do not know what you…”

And then in that moment Tauriel felt everything stir from the inside out. She turned to the other side of the bed and allowed the contents of her stomach to spill onto the floor. She threw up as she had never done, out of the blue. Galadriel held her long locks and caressed her back in means of comfort. Tauriel’s heartbeat began to increase in speed as she felt her entire body go numb yet at the same time she felt a burning sensation in her body that felt like the most incredible feeling she had ever felt. It was a warm brush of some type of luminous energy that radiated from within her originating from an interesting location.

Galadriel was there holding her hair still as Tauriel could not make a sound. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the Lady of Light gave her the smallest of radiant smiles. Everything seemed to make sense and everything now was wonderfully frightening. It was as if the most beautiful of consequences had been bestowed upon Tauriel. Yet the fear roamed her body, stronger than it had ever been.

With tears still rolling down her cheeks, Tauriel’s hand fell down to her stomach as her eyes widened still not believing such miracle. How would he react? What if he never came back? What would she do? What in the name of the Valar was happening??

“Oh my….” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope you all like the turns and twists that are approaching!  
> Plot bunnies are running around! Baby alert? Why not! This is going to be a different fic than my other one. But some similarities are going to show up, Tauriel being pregnant being one of them of course :)


	9. Radiant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!! Thank you all for the continued support! :)

“A baby” Tauriel whispered. Her chest began to fall and rise faster and faster as her frantic eyes looked at Galadriel. "A baby?"

“Indeed” she answered with a smile that turned into a frown as she felt Tauriel’s nerves. “I believed you would have known already but your mind was too occupied to feel the energy you now feel, correct?”

Tauriel nodded and closed her eyes as both her hands now fell down to her stomach and another round of tears came upon her. A sense of protectiveness claimed her. She would never allow harm to come to her and Kili’s child. But as soon as the protective instinct left, shock took over. She rose from the bed quickly and she immediately felt dizzy.

“How did this happen?” Tauriel asked as she shook her head and a cry escaped her mouth. She kept walking side to side as the images of her and Kili’s lovemaking came flashing to her mind. The memories almost burned her skin.

“I do believe you know _how_ this happened dear one” Galadriel then said with a soft glint in her eyes causing Tauriel to blush.

So many emotions dwelled inside of her once again as a smile took over her lips ignoring the burning of her cheeks. Pride, excitement and sadness made their way into her and claimed her thoughts as she rose from the bed. Such a tiny being was making such a big mess of her emotions and body already. It made its presence well known with a radiant energy that still left her speechless. She sat down on the bed once again as she felt dizzy.

“I need to tell him” Tauriel then said, clearing her throat. Her hand did not shy away from her stomach. Her voice was quiet and quivering which went so much against her character.

Tauriel then got up from the bed as Galadriel noted with a raised brow that she could not decide whether to sit or stand.

But Tauriel was so busy with her own mind that was exploding with thought after thought, that she did not notice that she had stood up.

A baby was growing within her. Kili’s child was inside of her and if that fact would shock anyone then it certainly left Tauriel gasping for air. And that damn prince needed to know what he had bestowed upon her. She was going to kill him with her own hands if he did not wake up and he was going to hear her. Her thoughts were not making any sense to her as she tried to get up.

“Tauriel” Galadriel called as she grabbed her arm as she took a step forward. Their companions outside were now asking what the problem was.

“We’ll be out in a moment. Everything is fine” Galadriel answered as she held Tauriel in her arms.

“I need to see him please. I need to tell him of our babe”

Tauriel was now deeper in distress as she was stuttering over words and her eyes were still in shock. Anger was now in her mind as she could not handle the way Galadriel held her back. With no thought whatsoever she tried to pull her arm from Galadriel's hold but surprisingly it did not budge an inch.

“You cannot see him. Not yet”

Tauriel frowned becoming still as a rock. “He could use this. Perhaps I could give him strength”

Galadriel frowned. “I thought you did not want me to bring return him to the land of the living?”  
Tauriel swallowed and immediately gazed at the floor.

“I cannot do this without him” she whispered shaking her head. Her eyes turned to hers. Galadriel could see fear lurking within her green eyes. Her hands cradled her stomach with care as if she could already feel herself holding her baby.

Her gaze hesitated at Tauriel’s hands and then rose to meet her fear stricken eyes.

“I can feel the strength you carry. I am certain that you can perserserve without him”

Tauriel’s color rushed away from her face and violently shook her head. Her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.

“I can't” she hissed with frustration. Her left hand still caressed her stomach that showed absolutely no clue of the little flower blossoming inside.

“Indeed you can” Galadriel soothed. Her voice was soft and it felt like a caress but Tauriel could not be calmed.

“Please” she begged as she walked up to Galadriel, took her hand, and stared up into her eyes. “I beg you my lady. Please bring him back. Please tell me of anything I can do to help”

Galadriel gave her a soft smile. “I will give my best. But child, I must insist, you can persevere alone”

Tauriel closed her eyes causing tears to slide down her cheeks. “He deserves to meet his child. And I can't possibly do this on my own. I'm not strong enough”

Galadriel felt her entire being hurt as she heard the young elf’s broken voice. There was so much despair in her, it was loud and thunderous, reaching to the walls of the warm chamber.

Kili will not be successful in returning if Tauriel could not find her own strength. It was crucial that Tauriel understood that.

“You can once again find your strength. Food and shelter will be at your disposal. And I shall try to be successful in bringing them back”

Tauriel gave her a weak smile. “Thank you”

“You are welcome. Now tell me of your wishes. When do you wish to tell others?”

Tauriel’s blood ran cold once again as the thought wandered into her mind… she had to tell others of her babe.

“What if… they are angry?” she asked with a glare. “The union of an elf and a dwarf will anger many”

Galadriel sighed as she reached to touch Tauriel’s cheek.

“You worry of so much in so little time, young one. Do not give me an answer now and do not fret over everything at once. You need rest, and then eat a proper meal, for yourself and the little being inside of you who depends on your health”

Tauriel gave her a quick nod. Someone else depended on her well being and she would give her child anything it needed to grow peacefully.

“I will rest. You are right” she whispered nodding her head and once again caressing her lower stomach with tentative fingers. “First I must clean the mess I've created”

Tauriel glanced over at the spot where she had emptied the contents of her stomach. But Galadriel stopped her with a small touch at her shoulder.

“Leave it dear. I will clean it up”

Tauriel’s cheeks caught the fiery color of shame. She quickly shook her head as she drew back some locks of her hair and brushed them behind her ear.

“Oh please. You do not have to do such a thing my lady”

The almost glowing elf in front of her gave her a silent, quick shake of her head.

“Do not fret. Go to bed and rest” Galadriel ordered with a voice that left no room for discussion. Her voice was still soft but Tauriel knew she could not argue with her.

“Thank you” Tauriel said trying to make her embarrassment go away. The Lady of Light was going to clean up her mess…. If she wasn't with child, she wished she would have disappeared at that very instant.

“You are welcome. Now go on. Try to rest and empty your mind. Inform the group outside that you simply need rest so they do not bombard you with questions”

Tauriel nodded and hesitantly turned towards the door. She looked back one last time as she pulled down the knob and opened the door. They all approached her at once.

“Are you alright?” asked one dwarf.

“Why did you faint?” asked another.

Bilbo seemed to sigh in relief along with others. She was up and walking, perhaps that was a good sign.

Tauriel looked around and tried to smile at the worry they felt for her. “I simply need rest that's all”

But they all still seemed curious so they continued to ask questions.

Gandalf whistled and tried to quiet everyone down. “She needs rest. I will show you to a warm chamber Tauriel”

She gave him a thankful nod and smile as he started to walk down the hallway. The chatter of the dwarves died down as she followed him. The wizard did not talk much which she was thankful for. Honestly, she was so tired she could not follow conversations.

“Aha. Here we are” Gandalf murmured to himself as he stopped in front of a door. “We are staying at a chamber five doors down, so if you are in need of assistance, please do not hesitate to ask”

Tauriel looked at the door, five spaces down, and gave him a nod.

“Thank you for your hospitality” she said giving the wizard a small smile. He noticed that it finally reached her eyes. They lighted up with a soft color that was not as strong, but it was beginning to flicker.

“Since the first moment I met Kili I knew he was a reckless one” Gandalf began. Tauriel swallowed weakly at the mention of her lover’s name. She smiled regardless of the ache it caused her heart to hear the one name that can make her cry and laugh at the same time.

“Reckless indeed” the wizard continued as he pointed at Tauriel’s stomach. Her eyes widened. Of course he knew!

“Do not worry. I won't tell anyone” he quickly said as he noticed her shocked and nervous expression.

“I am not surprised you know” she whispered.

He chuckled as he reached to lightly tap Tauriel’s shoulder. “I'm also not surprised Kili fell for you. There is so much in common between the two of you. I hope he can return to you”

Tauriel took a deep breath.

“I’m scared to hope such a thing”

Gandalf frowned and shook his head. “Do not be. There is great power at our aid”

She hesitated to find peace with his words. Hope was a dangerous thing and Tauriel could not allow it into her once again. The wizard in front of her gave her a sympathetic smile as if he knew what she was thinking.

“Try to rest” he finally said. He knew it was futile to try and give her hope when she looked so tired. She was with child and even though he was no expert he knew rest was important especially after suffering great wounds which to his eye looked like they were healing well.

“I will” she affirmed and she turned to enter the chamber.

“I will bring you some food in a few hours” he then said.

Tauriel shook her head. “Do not bother. I do not want to be a burden now”

The wizard shook his head and gave her a soft but stern look. “You are far from a burden. You saved Kili so many times and you carry an heir to Erebor, a Son of Durin. You deserve the best care”

“Thank you” she said trying hard to not swallow hard at the mention of such titles her unborn child already carried.

“You are a kind soul Tauriel. You deserve to be taken care of for once”

Tauriel smiled, a smile that was warm and genuine. Gandalf looked pleased to finally see a bright smile take over. He tilted his hat in respect and walked away.

She stood there for a few seconds as she watched the wizard walk away. She finally opened the door and entered into the cozy chamber. A chimney was lit. The fire at its hearth welcomed her in with a caress of warmth and light. Shadows danced about in the room as they fought for the soft glows of various candles that were set upon wooden shelves on the walls. A large bed was in the middle of the room which headframe touched the wall.

Tauriel spotted a small table and a chair as she walked around. It was a relatively small chamber but she was thankful she was not accommodated in a large area where loneliness would have more room to roam.  

“Its cozy” she said to herself as she sat at the foot of the bed which directly faced the hearth. She took a deep breath as she reached down to take off her boots.  She also removed her belt and her daggers. Next to come off was her corset and then top tunic. What remained was a thinner tunic underneath and a cotton brassiere.

But her eyes could not linger away from looking at her stomach. Finally, after a few minutes, her curiosity got the best of her. She removed the thin tunic and her naked skin came into view.

With tentative fingers she touched her lower abdomen as she closed her eyes. It was quite unbelievable knowing she was with child. That fact was taking awhile to be fully grasped.

“Hello little one” she whispered as tears streamed down her cheeks in complete oblivion. Through her tears she managed to smile. She was content even though she was devastated, she was relieved to feel a flicker of warmth run throughout her body.

“I don't feel alone anymore now that I know you are here” she then said as she wiped her cheeks dry. She moved up towards the pillows on the bed and snuck under the warm covers. She turned to her side and removed the blankets so she could once again look at her stomach which was something she did not want to stop doing.

Tauriel sniffed and smiled as more tears ran their course. “I discovered your existence a few minutes ago but I already love you” she whispered as she tapped her fingers lightly at her skin just below her bellybutton.

“He will return to us” she assured, both to herself and to the little being residing within her.

Hope could maybe roar to life again. Maybe, just maybe, she could allow herself to imagine what it would be like to hear Kili’s voice again. And that thought, along with the image of a small baby in her arms, lulled her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Poor Tauriel ._. Soooo many emotions! She is an ex captain of the guard, but she can also be an emotional wreck! And that is well justified! Stay tuned for more :)  
> She is already speaking with the baby *-*


	10. Ignis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Innocents don't kiss like that"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you for reading :) I hope you enjoy this one! Ps- Ignis means fire in latin :)

“This will be a difficult task” Elrond whispered surveying the injuries sustained by the dwarves in front of him. Galadriel did not move her eyes from the dwarven king. His strength was the strongest of the three.

“The sooner we commence, the better”

Elrond gave her a simple nod but his eyes remained hesitant. “I do not believe we will be successful with all of them”

Galadriel’s eyes matched his own as he looked over the youngest prince.

“We must try. We cannot wait”

She walked out of the chamber and approached the group waiting outside. Dain was now among them, waiting for hopeful news.

“Well?” Dain asked as Galadriel looked at Gandalf.

“You must go get Tauriel. We will begin shortly” she announced. Everyone looked at each other with nerves as the tension roamed the hall.

“We will allow you all to go in there and see them one last time before we begin” she added as Gandalf had started to walk off to get Tauriel.

* * *

Tauriel’s room was warm as the fire roared in the hearth of the fireplace. Her back was to her bed as she stared at the dancing flames.

She was currently eating as she bit into a piece of buttery bread.  She had also had some warm soup that had been delicious although foreign to her taste. Eating had made her dizziness go away but as she rose from her chair her head started to spin once more.

“This will take some getting use to” she whispered to herself as her palm caressed her stomach. Nausea left quickly but a weird burn in her throat commenced after. She quickly reached for a cup of water and tried to take the discomfort away.

“Valar” she hissed out loud as she felt the water ease the burn. She sat down on her chair and took a deep breath. A small smiled spread at her lips as she felt a small spark of energy run over her body.

“It's alright my love” she then said as if her babe had been aware of her discomfort.

A soft knock took her out of her trance of enjoying the little roaming energy.

Out of instinct, her eyes shifted to where her daggers laid on the table beside her bed. She opened the door and friendly face appeared. Any trace of instinctual hesitation disappeared.

“Hello” Gandalf greeted with a small tilt of his head. “I hope you slept well and enjoyed the food”

She smiled. “I did yes. Thank you so much”

“You are one of us now. And we all have a responsibility to take care of you and the little one”

“I appreciate the warm hospitality. I do have to admit that sleeping in a bed once again has been a delight”

Gandalf chuckled. “You are most welcome dear one. I see that you are wearing the clean clothes we have fetched for you”

“Indeed” she said looking down at the new set of clothes she was given. “Thank you for retrieving them from my kin”

“As I said. We will take care of you”

Tauriel smiled but the spread of her lips was cut short by the sudden serious shade that roamed the wizard’s eyes.

“What's wrong?” she asked as her hand grasped the door and her breathing accelerated. 

“Nothing out of the usual. But they are about to begin”

Tauriel closed her eyes as her hand grasped her tunic covering her stomach. This was it. The time had arrived.

“The sooner we start, the better”

Tauriel nodded understanding the situation though her head seemed to start spinning once more.

“Tauriel”

It was the wizard’s kind voice that helped her return to herself. It always felt like a dark cloud wanted to swallow her every time she closed her eyes.

“You need to see him one more time before they start” Gandalf announced with a soft, careful voice.

“Of course” she urged as she went back inside her chamber and slipped on her boots. It was almost seconds after that she was ready and out her door.

“Do not say goodbye Tauriel. We all have to give the three of them strength. But Kili needs it most alright?”

Tauriel swallowed. She did not want to ask why it was that Kili needed it the most. She just nodded and followed the wizard.

“He needs to meet his child” she whispered. “He cannot leave me once again”

Gandalf looked at her as they walked. Pain and fear swam around her but he knew she was trying to remain strong.

“He cannot break his promise again” she murmured.  She forced determination in every breath she breathed, in every step that her feet took and in every thought that roamed her mind. 

* * *

_*Flashback*_

_He laid there motionless as if life did not flow through his veins. His hair was messy as it framed his handsome face. His pale skin had yet to regain its color but she felt the will to live that roamed in him._

_She had saved him. That fact alone was roaming around in her mind every five seconds. She could not believe it._

_His kin had left the room and the closed door allowed her the privacy she needed to run her hand across his forehead. He was still warm and a thin sheet of sweat covered his skin._

_She quickly moved to bind his injury. Her expert fingers tied the piece of cloth carefully._

_“Tauriel” he said in a faint whisper which took her by surprise. His voice caressed her skin and he way he said her name made her heart skip some beats._

_“Lie still” she answered with a small smile. His eyes looked confused but they gazed into hers as sharp as ever._

_She swallowed heavily and looked away._

_“You cannot be her”  he began. Her eyes looked away from his injury and looked ahead._

_“She is far away” he whispered looking at her. “_ _She... she is far, far away from me”_

_Tauriel closed her eyes and opened them again to look at him. He looked confused as if he thought he was dreaming._

_“She walks in starlight in another world” he continued with a sad and defeated gaze._

_“It was just a dream”_

_She could not take his words. They shot arrows into her. Her eyes began to water over as his fingers grazed hers. And at that moment she could not take her eyes off of him. Something about the way he talked to her was too intimate and his voice was too soft._

_“Do you think she could have loved me?”_

_Her chest heaved. She allowed his fingers to thread between hers. His touch electrocuted her in the sweetest of ways._

_“Shh Kili” she murmured moving closer to him. “You have to sleep and allow the effect of the athelas drift away”_

_He shook his head as his hand climbed her arm and even in his weak and confused state he had the strength to grab her and pull her closer. Her presence made him feel as if he was floating through the air._

_“Why are you here?” he asked shaking his head. “Are you really her?”_

_Tauriel took a deep breath as his hand caressed her cheek. His other hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her even closer. She found herself unable to stop him._

_“I came to save you. You keep on proving yourself to be a damsel in distress” she teased with a small smile. But Kili did not laugh nor smile as his confused mind did not catch the teasing tone of her voice._

_“Are you really her?” he repeated with awe in his eyes._

_“Who?” she asked._

_“Her name is Tauriel. You look like her but she is not supposed to be here”_

_“I am here” she announced and at her words a smile spread at his lips. His eyes closed as he smiled and her breath left her. Valar… his smile warmed her up and took every doubt and fear away._

_“Truly here?” he asked with wide eyes and at that, she nodded. Their faces were inches away from each other and she only noticed this as his gaze fell down to her lips._

_“If you are really here why can't you answer my question?” he asked a bit impatient._

_Tauriel chuckled at his angry expression that turned soft as he heard her laugh._

_“You ask too many questions Prince Kili” she informed._

_“I do not” he answered with a pointed look. His eyes returned to gazing at her lips. It was as if his eyes pulled her closer to that desired distance._

_“Love has to be shown not told” she murmured. She rested her weight on her hands that were at each side of his head. The walnuts made it difficult to touch the table but she managed._

_“Show me” he said and his words seemed to echo around the room even though it was just a faint whisper._

_She gave him a mischievous look and shook her head. “You are reckless even in a delirious state”_

_“I may be delirious but I know you are dying to come closer”_

_She bit her lip as she stared at his. His hand went around her neck and she took a deep breath as she knew where that would lead._

_Perhaps that last touch of his hand gave her the courage to softly press her mouth to his. Her senses fired up and her heart roared. Her hair fell in waves around him and her scent made his mind even more blurry and hazy._

_Their eyes fluttered closed as his lips worked against hers.  She could not believe what was happening. They were kissing! Quick and soft at first… and then… passion took control. Fire spread and it heated up their rapid breaths._

_His tongue slid across her bottom lip begging her mouth to open. She obliged with a gasp as his hands grasped her hips. The kiss deepened and tongues tasted. A small moan left her as the scrub of his face against her skin left her speechless. She wanted him. Her cheeks heated up as she realized she wanted him in more ways than one._

_“You are injured” she repeated as he kept grasping her and moving his body to allow hers to half climb onto the wooden bed. He did not answer and kept on kissing her with a need that matched hers._

_“You taste like the most beautiful of memories” he whispered. She smiled against his mouth as his words did not make sense to her._

_Before she could answer he kissed her again and this time their movements synchronized which left her half moaning and gasping. And then she did something which was daring and absolutely crazy… she straddled him. A small voice in her mind told her to stop what she was doing.. another told her that he was supposed to be in bed rest.. and another told all the voices to be quiet._

_His own mind began to function once again. Her kisses and touches grounded him back to reality._

_“Tauriel” he whispered with a surprised look._

_“Hey there damsel in distress” she teased as she kissed him again. The taste of his lips reminding her of something spicy but sweet._

_This time he answered with more control and he moved to sit. The pain of his leg was erased as the sensation of her lips against his made him forget everything. His hands moved to caress her thighs that were around him._

_With her tongue in his mouth, he felt like the sky itself would come crashing down. His hands took a life of their own and began to go underneath her tunic as she moved on top of him, both hands roamed his cheeks and her mouth was against his. Her skin was so soft and smooth. However, he noticed that she kept her hands away from exploring his body and he knew that she was holding herself back._

_But suddenly, in a breathtaking moment, she began to slowly move her hips against his. The friction was absolutely delicious. She chuckled as his hands caressed her skin underneath her breasts. She moved against him once more, her eyes closing and her head tilting back._

_His need was growing and she could feel it. Her face colored to a rosy color and he could not keep himself from pressing soft kisses to her cheeks._

_“We are insane” he stated as they pressed their foreheads together._

_Up close she could count each eyelash that surrounded his brown eyes. Those eyes that were soft and yet calculating at the same time. She was close enough to see tiny streaks of gold that colored the irises of his eyes._

_“Are you not delirious anymore?” she asked which made him chuckle._

_“What did I say? Did I embarrass myself?”_

_She hid her disappointment at her inability to remember the sweet things he had said._

_“I think I have embarrassed myself more by straddling you”_

_“But it feels so good” he then whispered at her ear. After kissing her ear, which caused her to gasp, his lips moved down her neck._

_“You are not an innocent dwarf I see. You have experience” she noted, closing her eyes as his lips kissed her neck and his tongue caressed her skin._

_“I am innocent” he teased biting her skin which made her jump in surprise._

_She lifted an elegant brow and carefully pushed him down to the table. Walnuts fell down to the floor as his head settled on the wooden surface._

_“Innocents don't kiss like that”_

_He gave her a side grin and her throat dried as his eyes turned dark and mysterious. Chills ran down her back._

_“I can show you” he whispered at the side of her face. Her skin heated up as his hand grabbed one of her breasts._

_She was about to give him a silent nod but footsteps coming to the door from the outside made her alert. In one second she was off Kili with her feet on the ground. She quickly arranged her clothes and hair and stood against the wall trying to take a deep breath. He smiled knowingly and took in her flustered wide-eyed expression._

_He himself felt as if he was far away in the other side as what had happened could not be believed._

_And that's when regret started to attack Tauriel’s mind. She took another deep breath and stared at the ground. Kili frowned at the complete change of her demeanor. The door opened and it was as if nothing had happened because Tauriel looked at him as if she had not kissed him with passion seconds before._

_Oh hell no. He was not going to let her forget. Even if his mind was still blurred, he would not let her forget the time she had allowed him through. And that he promised to himself. He told her this with a pointed and sharp look of his own that she ignored._

* * *

She walked beside Gandalf until she arrived at the door which she stopped in front of.

“Give him strength Tauriel” he said. Her hands shook and her eyes filled with tears but she then felt the little energy roam her body once again. Her shaking hand caressed her stomach as her eyes closed.

“I can't” she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks and she took a step back. “ _I'm scared_ ”

Gandalf heard her faint whisper and placed a hand at her shoulder. Tauriel closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself.

“It is alright to be scared” he said in a soothing voice. “Courage cannot blossom in the absence of fear”

Tauriel’s eyes opened and she turned to look at the wizard but he was suddenly gone. Her eyes blinked in surprise. She wiped away the tears from her cheeks and she made herself take a deep breath. 

She reached for the door’s handle and with renewed determination and courage, she opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! That little flashback scene was fun to write. Yes, their time at the tower was not their first time together, but certainly, it was there where the baby was... made.. xD  
> Stay tuned to find out what happens behind that door.


	11. Inlustris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading :) Inlustris is latin for starlight :) I love the idea of latin titles idk xD

Tauriel walked into the high ceiling chamber where the royals laid in their death sleep. The dwarves were currently surrounding the royals, and most were saying some words with tears in their eyes. The air inside made her feel claustrophobic and her head spun as her eyes landed on Kili. Her hand immediately caressed her stomach as her eyes stung with tears. 

“That is your father” she whispered in an almost inaudible voice. A small smile spread at her lips as she mentally announced to Kili that she was with child. 

The dwarves fell silent as Tauriel approached them. 

“You all have given them reasons to stay” Elrond said in a soothing voice. His gaze landed on Tauriel and then returned to the silent dwarves, Bilbo and the wizard. 

They all nodded as they all looked and leaned on each other for support. 

“They have waited long to see this kingdom flourish. We are here because of them” Dwalin announced with a saddened gaze. “They deserve to be here among their kin” 

“We shall give them the best opportunity to return” Elrond answered with a hesitant look that he quickly masked. He had to maintain a clear and open mind so he could concentrate on the challenging task at hand.

Galadriel turned to the dwarves with a smile trying to lighten the uncertainty she felt surrounding the room. “I appreciate the presence of you all, and now we should allow Tauriel some privacy” 

Tauriel’s head rose away from looking at Kili as her name was mentioned. She sniffed quietly as the dwarves passed her on their way to the door. They all whispered a hello and some patted her on the shoulder for support. Bilbo stopped and gave her a quick hug which filled her with warmth. 

She also saw Galadriel and Elrond approach her as well. His gaze fell down to her midsection with questions in his mind. Tauriel respectfully bowed her head as he patted her shoulder in response. 

“Stay strong child” Galadriel whispered, coming to her next, and grazing Tauriel’s cheek with the back of her hand. 

Tauriel took a deep breath and gave her a determined nod. She closed her eyes as she heard the door shut behind her. Some tears stained her cheeks as she walked over to Fili who was closest to her. She caressed his cold cheek. 

“Your family misses you dearly” she whispered. “Come back to us. Your mother would want to be able to hug you after being away from her for so long” 

She then moved to Thorin and bowed silently. “You have a kingdom that needs your ruling. Your family misses you as well” 

She leaned her hands for support  on the stone pedestal on which Thorin laid as her eyes shifted to Kili. A smile grew at her lips amidst her hysteria. 

“Your nephew is reckless” she said in a chuckle as more tears ran down her cheeks and hit the stone pedestal like raindrops. “He managed to get an elf with child. How reckless is that?” 

Her chuckling stopped as she swallowed heavily. She walked over to Kili with small steps.

“There is a little baby inside of  me. Our baby” she whispered as she shook with tears. Her hand grabbed his colder one. “Our night of passion resulted in something so precious” 

Tauriel cried as she looked at him and wished he would open his eyes. She would love to know of his reaction... somehow it made her anxious to know if he would approve of the child. 

“Of course you would” she hissed, cursing herself. “You are far too kind and extraordinary to refuse a child” 

Her chest heaved then as she stared at his lifeless body. The connection she knew they had shared was long gone and in its place stood a dark and empty feeling. 

“You have to return to me Kili” she then said trying to rekindle the energy between them. Her voice was loud as she felt like she would faint from the overwhelming emotion she felt. “Please return to me. I can't do this without you. I need you to meet our babe” 

She leaned on the stone and cried into her arm as she held his hand. “I want you to come back… to me as well” 

Her voice echoed off into the silence. “I miss you so much” 

She rose her head as she blinked through the tears. She then grabbed his hand and placed it at her stomach. 

“You are to be a father, my love” she whispered through her gasps and tears. “A baby Kili. You cannot leave me alone. I am not strong enough to do this on my own. Please!” 

Desperation filled her. “You reckless dwarf you will not escape from this so easily!” she accused and she chuckled as she almost imagined his grin. 

Tauriel then reached for the stone she kept hidden on her corset. Her fingertips grazed the surface and the runes.

“You made me a promise. You have to keep it alright?” she pled. “Please return to me my love” 

She wiped her tears and covered her mouth with her hand so no one would hear her crying. 

“Please” she repeated and moved over him and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. 

Tauriel moved away quickly as she could not tolerate the feeling of coldness that roamed his body. He did not deserve to be lying on that table. None of them did. 

She cried some more as she ran her fingers across his hand. “I will wait for you” 

With that, she took a deep breath and walked away. She turned to look at the three of them and turned towards the door. Tears raced down her cheeks as hope tried to sneak upon her. With defeat upon her, she accepted it as her hand grasped the handle of the door.

“I know you will all return. I will see you again my love” 

* * *

_ Smoke arose from the engulfed town as the little boat arrived at shore. Tauriel looked around in shock through the dark of the night, as destroyed pieces of the town washed upon the rocky shoreline. The group aboard the small boat was silent. But the screams and cries of those who had survived were ringing in the air like chaotic waves. _

_ “Let's find your father” Tauriel proposed as she caressed the little girl’s tear stained cheek. Tilda was her name, and she looked distraught and her once brilliant eyes were almost darkened.  _

_ “He's dead” the oldest, Sigrid, whispered with a half gasp. Tauriel looked at one of the dwarves who looked at her in regret. What Sigrid said may be true.  _

_ “Let's look for him” she repeated with a soothing smile. “I'm sure your brother and father are around here somewhere”  _

_ They all looked through the darkness upon the edges of the water where people moved with no destination in mind.  _

_ “Tauriel” Kili called but she kept her eyes away from his and helped the girls jump down from the boat.  _

_ “We will camp out here for tonight. Leave at first light” Fili said as he looked at Kili. The way his gaze bore into Tauriel was alarming and a bit confusing. Yet he was no idiot, he knew of his brother’s feelings for the she-elf.  _

_ “Kili” he said as he gave him a hand so he could jump out of the boat. His younger brother took his hand and hopped down carefully. _

_ “How is your leg?” he asked though that was not the question he wanted to ask and Kili knew it.  _

_ “Better” he said with a nod but Fili noticed his attention was far away.  _

_ “Leave it be” Fili warned sharply with a serious look.  _

_ Kili shook his head. “I wish I could”  _

_ And with that he went after Tauriel and the girls leaving Fili, Bofur and Oin alarmed and confused.  _

_ “That is dangerous” Bofur urged as they stared after the young prince. _

_ “I have seen that look that he carries, Fili” Oin began. “He is beyond reason now”  _

_ Fili sighed as he shook his head and turned to the older dwarves.  _

_ “Let's find a place where we can sleep”  _

* * *

_ Kili wandered far trying to find the familiar pretty face in the sea of survivors. He grew impatient until he heard a girl’s voice call for her father and he knew it was Tilda. At a closer look Tauriel was not present where he could see Tilda and Sigrid hugging their brother and father. _

_ A small smile spread on his lips at the thought of Bard surviving. He had killed the dragon and he himself will thank him but as for now.. he needed to find Tauriel. She had been avoiding him, and perhaps the situation had called for attention on needing to survive, but she ignored any gaze he threw at her.  _

_ “Have you seen a redhead elf maiden around?” he asked a woman who sat with a young child in her arms.  _

_ She gave him a slight nod. He stepped closer to her and with help of nearby torches he could see her pain-stricken eyes. But he knew that it was no physical pain she was feeling.  _

_ “She walked that way. Towards those trees” she informed. Kili removed his top coat and offered it to her. _

_ “Thank you” he said as she looked at the coat with hesitation. “ Take it please”  _

_ And when she did not he gave her a small smile and wrapped the coat around the small boy she held. His brown curls were wet and his big eyes were wide open and filled with fear.  _

_ “You brought a monster upon us” the women then said. Kili sighed deeply.  _

_ “Our intention was never this”  _

_ The women closed her eyes. “It will be ill will to blame you folks for this”  _

_ Kili’s eyes wandered to the ground. “I know it is not worth anything. But I give you my sincere apologies”  _

_ The lady fell silent and hugged her child who began to sleepily close his eyes.  _

_ “Thank you for the coat.. and the apology”  _

_ Kili gave her a slow nod and walked off to the path that she had pointed to. He walked through the trees until he arrived at a small clearing. Rocks were stacked upon each other at various places but no trees grew in it.  _

_ He looked around in the darkness until he spotted red hair.  _

_ Tauriel sat on the floor.  _

_ His heart began to crumble as he saw her take her face in her hands. She did not cry but seeing her in a distraught state brought great worry to him.  _

_ He took a step into the clearing, stepping on a branch and breaking it as he did. She raised her head immediately but she stared ahead as if she knew he was there.  _

_ The moon moved away from the cloud banks, casting off some light. He looked at the stars above as he walked to her. He remembered the beautiful talks of starlight and firemoons they had shared.  _

_ “Tauriel” he called and she avoided him again. He took a deep breath as he kneeled beside her.  _

_ He noticed a small cut that was bleeding on the top of her hand. He reached to it and as he did she pulled her arm away from his reach. That did it… his patience was thinning.  _

_ “Stop this” he hissed as he moved so he could be in front of her. She looked down at her hands as she crossed her legs so they wouldn't touch his. Her resolve would not melt away. She was stubborn and he knew it.  _

_ “Go back to your brother” she ordered, still not looking at him. He exhaled deeply through his nose and then he reached for her chin and before she could move away he grabbed her shoulder.  _

_ Their eyes met and she could not look away. It was as if he held her captive with his deep and longing gaze.  _

_ “Why?” he simply asked as he stared deep into her brilliant green eyes.  _

_ “Let me go” she hissed reaching for his hand but as she grabbed it he moved it lower to grasp her elbow.  _

_ “Why are you avoiding me like this?” he repeated, his eyes begging for an answer.  _

_ “This was a mistake” she breathed shaking her head. He shifted his knee on the grass to move closer to her.  _

_ “A mistake?” he asked.  _ _   
_ _ Tauriel felt a tinge of regret for her words as his eyes filled with sadness. But anger filled her once again. Anger she had towards herself. _

_ “I should have never dared to... “ _

_ “Kiss me?” he asked, interrupting her. Tauriel glared at him as he rose a brow.  _

_ “Or do you regret getting on top of me?”  _

_ Her glare deepened and darkened. The image of her being on top of him and feeling his body underneath her hands brought forth a warm feeling that she tried to force away. _

_ “Or.. do you regret allowing my hand to go under your clothes?”  _

_ She fisted her hands and sent him a warning look.  _

_ “That was out of character. I should have never done that!”  _

_ Kili gave her a small smile. “Out of character? I caressed your soft skin and I saw the smile that took upon your lips as I did”  _

_ Her anger escalated as she lowered her gaze to look at his soft smile. He caught the way her pupils dilated as she looked at his lips. And at that she hissed and pushed him to the floor and in a blur of time, she had a dagger at his throat. Kili would have been scared beyond comprehension but he knew she would never hurt him. And the fact that she straddled his hips once more had him seeing stars in his vision.  _

_ “This is me!” she hissed pressing the dagger closer to his skin. “This is what I am trained to do, what my character entails”  _

_ Kili looked unimpressed as he shook his head. “You, my dear are trying very hard to make me walk away. But before you keep trying, I want to thank you for saving me”  _

_ Tauriel looked at him with a pointed look. “I don't regret saving your life. But I should have never allowed you in”  _

_ He sighed as her anger seemed to evaporate and regret and doubt began to swim in her eyes. _

_ “The moment you kissed me keeps replaying in my mind” he whispered and he reached up to caress her cheeks with both hands. She did not remove her dagger but she did not push him away.  _

_ “Being able to hold you in my arms was the most incredible experience” he added, his fingers falling down to touch her lips. Her eyes fluttered closed as his focused on her soft and smooth lips. The deep craving he felt to kiss them was driving him insane.  _

_ “This is a mistake” she whispered once more with defeat in her voice. She dropped her dagger on the grass but as she was going to rise he stopped her.  _

_ “Are you going to ignore what you feel?” he asked with a sharp gaze. She immediately looked angry.  _

_ “What I feel?” she asked with a hiss. “I do not feel anything. It was just a moment of vulnerability. I had just cured you using athelas which takes tremendous skill, so I was amazed and confused” _

_ He cocked his head to the side and gave her an unimpressed look once again. She swallowed and narrowed her eyes.  _

_ “You are a bad liar” he whispered. _

_ “What do you suppose happened? That I enjoyed myself?” she asked and he took a deep breath to calm down his impatience. She was stubborn but so was he. _

_ He grabbed her chin and gently pulled her down. She gave him a dark look but he ignored it.  _

_ “Saying you merely enjoyed yourself would be the understatement of the century”  _

_ “You do not know that” she scoffed raising her head.  _

_ He lifted a brow. “Tauriel. You showed me how you truly feel. I do not need you to say it because you showed me”  _

_ “That is it. Let me go before I stab you with my dagger!”  _

_ Her voice was threaded with a deep threat that made his skin pale but he continued to deny the fact that she would hurt him.  _

_ She was being difficult and she knew it. The only reason why she did not move away from him was that she would have to hurt him to pry herself off of his hold. His warmth was making her weak by the second and his eyes were making her breath stop here and there. But her resolve did not melt away. _

_ “You’re going to have to stab me. I am not letting you go”  _

_ His voice wore a tone of challenge.  _

_ “Is that so?” she said as he nodded and gave her a reckless grin. _

_ “In fact, lets play a little game” he proposed with a mischievous voice and a suggestive smile.  _

_ She scoffed. “I do not play games”  _

_ And at that he flipped her to her back before she could blink. She was left speechless as she gave him an accusatory glare.  _ _   
_

_ “If you manage to get me off of you then I will walk away to the shore”  _

_ Tauriel sighed and shook her head. “And what if I do not?”  _

_ He leaned in close and pressed a kiss to her brow. Her heart almost stopped at the feel of his lips. He always made her feel so juvenile, it angered her.  _

_ “I will kiss you at every failed attempt”  _

_ “Valar. This is pointless. What are you trying to prove?”  _

_ Kili chuckled. “That you did enjoy it when you kissed me”  _

_ Tauriel’s eyes faltered under his heavy gaze. He saw her hazy eyes fall to his mouth which made his heart accelerate and at that moment she pushed him away with mighty strength. But he held onto her wrists with an impressive grip.  _

_ The wind got knocked out of him as he landed on his back. She chuckled softly as he blinked many times but he still held onto her. _

_ “Ahhh” he said with triumphed and quickly pulled her down and caught her mouth with his.  _

_ Tauriel squealed in surprise as he kissed her. She felt her eyes close and her hands grasped his clothes. Their tongues pressed together; their breaths synced. They were one under the sky full of stars.  _

_ Starlight and moonlight showered upon them as they kissed with tremendous passion. _

_ He felt her sigh against him and softly bit his lower lip. A warm shiver ran down his spine. Mahal… she was wickedly magnificent. She was forcing herself to be angry and distant but he knew of her real intentions and feelings. They were clear as day.  _

_ “You're scared to pursue this” he whispered against the side of her mouth once they parted. “I am too. But we can't jeopardize our happiness due to difficulty”  _

_ “We can't let this continue Kili” she whispered hiding her face at the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around her slim figure. trying to soothe her.  _

_ “Tauriel” he urged. “I can't stop what I feel, darling” _

_ She froze and closed her eyes. “I should have never kissed you much less climbed on top of you. That was a mistake and I'm so embarrassed. And I just kissed you again!” _

_ Kili sighed as she hid away.  _

_ “I don't mind” he said and shrugged his shoulders.  _

_ She sighed. “Of course you don't. But I have never done that. I don't know what took upon me”  _

_ “Tauriel” he soothed. “Stop being so hard on yourself”  _

_ She sighed and looked up to meet his eyes.  _

_ “This is a mistake” she repeated and with great effort she tore herself from his hold. His warmth was immediately missed but she forced herself not to return to him.  _

_ “Tauriel” he whispered. His eyes looked lost and helpless. “I don't know how to walk away”  _

_ Tauriel felt like she would cry. She never cried with ease but now she felt like tears would flow down her cheeks. How could she give in? _

_ “We can't let this happen” she said swallowing hard as she stood up and he followed. “Lets just walk away Kili. Let's say goodbye”  _

_ “Please…” he began to say taking a step towards her. The emotions welled up inside of him. He did not want to cry but he felt as if he would at the sole thought of never seeing her again. His heart raced at the cruel idea of walking away.  _

_ They stood there looking at each other. The moon was up above, looking at the two lovers as they felt the pain of what could come if they never saw each other again.  _

_ The air carried a soft breeze that played with Tauriel’s hair. Her long fiery locks flew around her shoulders. Kili could not stop looking at her hair dance around. How could he stop looking at her? How could he just walk away? She did not want to walk away either judging by the way she seemed to be frozen, unable to move.  _

_ “No”  he then said as he approached her with fast steps. “I am not going to walk away from the one person that makes me forget my own name just by looking at her”  _

_ She looked at the ground as a few tears ran down her cheeks. A small smile grazed her lips. _

_ “I will give you the space you need to be alone with your thoughts, Tauriel. But I will not say goodbye”  _

_ Tauriel gave him a small nod as she silently wiped her tears away.  _

_ “Meet me at the shore at the first light” he then said. “I will search this entire earth for you if you do not show up”  _

_ She sniffed and rose a brow.  _

_ “Is that a threat?” she asked and cracked a smile through her tears.  _

_ He gave her a serious look as he walked towards her. He gave her a kiss on the cheek, wiping the tears away with his lips.  _

_ “It is a threat darling” he whispered at the side of her mouth. She wanted him to kiss her but she did not dare to move her head so her lips would catch his. Instead, she stayed there, frozen and craving his touch before it even left her.  _

_ She saw him turn around and walk away and she could actually feel her heart yearning for him. Even her skin yearned for his caress. _

_ “This is still a bad idea” she loudly noted.  _

_ “I know it is” he said looking over his shoulder. “But I love bad ideas”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter... but I hope you all enjoyed it. <3


	12. Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it begins....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

Tauriel closed the door behind her as she took a deep breath. Her companions stood there at the hall, all quiet and looking to the floor. A few of them had tears at their eyes but they all carried a great sadness that was almost claustrophobic. It surrounded Tauriel and tightened her throat.

“We shall begin” Elrond announced, looking to Galadriel. She swiftly nodded her head but her eyes did not leave Tauriel’s. Her voice suddenly filled the young elf’s mind, startling her.

“He will return to you, my child” she heard Galadriel say but her mouth did not move along with her words.

Tauriel was shocked but she gave the elf in front of her a slight and hesitant nod. It took her a few seconds to fully grasp the situation. The elf in front of her could communicate in surprising ways.

“Thank you” Tauriel then said without speaking and Galadriel gave her a smile… so she could also listen.

“You’re welcome” the glowing elf responded out loud as she followed Lord Elrond through the door. Tauriel turned in time to see Galadriel’s dress slide in the large chamber.

“Is there anything we can do?” Dain asked.

“Have patience” was all Galadriel whispered, closing the door with a soft movement of her hand.

Tauriel leaned on the wall. Her throat felt dry and her head spun. The feeling in her chest was burning her. She yearned to be alone so she started to walk away.

“You do not have to wait alone” the wizard called after her but her breathing accelerated and solitude was what she needed so she could cry in peace.

“I need to be alone” she whispered trying to not cry. “I appreciate the offer but I wish to be alone”

Everyone looked at her and chose to be silent. If her wish was to be alone no one could argue as she seemed to be falling apart in front of their eyes.

Tauriel turned around and continued to walk down the hall and when she turned the corner she broke into a run. She needed to get outside. She needed fresh air and the sky above her head.

She needed to cry and pity herself because the burning in her chest would not leave otherwise.

She ran and ran, passing hallway after hallway. Kili would suffer. He would feel pain. Her chest burned and burned and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

And then the burning got worse. So much worse that she had to stop running to lean against the wall. She cried in pain as she bit her lip so she would stop screaming.

They had started. Even if they had not, the pain was already there. Soon he would feel it as well. Tears ran down her cheeks as she continued her run. After a few minutes she made it outside.

Tauriel had escaped the pain but he could not run from it. That brought even more pain to her as well.

But then she took a deep breath as the night sky welcomed her with opened arms. Stars littered the darkness above. The sight of starlight calmed her and kept the burning at bay. She hid behind a boulder and sat on a smaller rock. The pain in her chest had become manageable but it would soon get worse. She knew so. There was only one answer as to why she could feel the pain he would soon feel. It brought a small smile to her face to think of it. She was not one to admit that connections between two people could exist. Yet there she was, feeling the pain her lover would soon feel. If he ever does wake and feel it that is.

Such thought made her shake with fear. The cold air around her bit at her skin but the fear was even colder.

“We are both reckless” she whispered with a smile as she stared at the sky above her. “Yet we are so afraid of fear and consequences”

Tears made their way down her cheeks. She tried to stop crying but she could not.

“I need you” she whispered, closing her eyes and leaning back on the stone. “I can not say goodbye”

She took her face in her hands. “I still do not know how to say goodbye to you”

-

“We must discuss our plans if they do not… return” Gandalf said. He frankly wanted the silence to stop. They all sat in comfortable chairs around a large table. A fire was at the hearth, keeping them warm. But the silence was overwhelming, even for a wizard.

“Let's not lose hope so suddenly” Bilbo said staring at the wall in front of him.

“I agree with the lad” Bofur sighed. “They will return. That is what we must believe”

-

Tauriel’s fingers were finally becoming numb as the cold surrounding her got troubling even for her. She as an elf could endure the cold but her coat did nothing to keep the cold out further.

Her eyes were fixed on the sky as her hand fell down to her stomach, a shivering going down her back.

She stood up abruptly as she realized that perhaps the cold could be… problematic for her in her condition. She did not know if that could be the case but she walked to the entrance anyway.

Her child came first and it was better if she took herself to bed even if being under a stone roof brought her uneasiness. Regardless of the uneasy feeling, she rose to her feet.

“I usually do not feel tired, my darling” she whispered, caressing her lower abdomen. “You are certainly giving me a few surprises already”

She arrived at the entrance of Erebor and sighed. Stone was not something she wished to be under but her sudden exhaustion carried her inside.

“I am scared, my love” she whispered again, stepping over broken rocks. She was starting to feel a sense of calmness as she realized she technically was speaking to another being. “But having you does calm me”

A smile appeared at her lips as she felt the little energy fluttering all over her.

“No one can tell me I am insane for talking to myself because you are here”

She could not stop smiling as the energy spread throughout her but as she took another step, pain wrapped her in its grasp. The burning in her chest returned and it left her breathless.

“Valar” she whispered, her chest rising and falling in a chaotic manner. Her hand did not move away from her stomach as she took deep breaths. She broke into a slight run as she tried to put some distance between her and… Kili. She sighed as the burning got considerably cooler as more distance fell behind her. The thought that Kili would soon feel such pain brought tears to her eyes.

“I would give anything to be in his place” she murmured. She had finally arrived to her chamber and she quickly walked inside.

“I would gladly take the pain from him” she hissed as she took off her boots and climbed on the bed.

She stared at the fire in front of her and the sudden realization hit her like an arrow. If she had died alongside Kili… their child would have...

Tauriel froze. The room grew colder as if she was still outside.

“Oh my darling” she whispered caressing her stomach with both hands. One of her hands went underneath her tunic so she would touch her bare skin.

“Everything will be alright” she whispered as she closed her eyes and tried to remove the deadly thought that if she had died her babe would have suffered the same fate.

Tauriel sniffed away her tears and placed her head at the soft pillows and wrapped herself in the warm blankets. Sleep did not capture her easily but she closed her eyes shut and tried to empty her mind.

-

Light bounced off her hands as they hovered above the dwarven king. Lord Elrond stood there, mesmerized by what he was witnessing. His own hands could only do so much, but hers radiated with an intense light. It was a light that glowed as the rays of sunlight. It was as if the brightest skies of summer were coming out from her palms.

The light blinded him. It blinded even the lingering souls that he could feel around him.

She shut her eyes off to gather more strength. More light left her palms as it entered the king who laid there, his chest lighting up so with a feverish light.

Her voice then carried off. Lord Elrond watched her lips move at the beat of her words. A string of elvish words that sounded too sacred… too ancient for his own ears.

He aided her with his hands also hovering over the great wound of the soon to be king. But then it proved too great of a feat and he had to stop. His breath came in ragged sessions. He could not remember the last time he felt exhausted.

Galadriel gave him a smile which aimed to ease his discomfort at having to stop so soon.

“It can be done” he whispered as she nodded swiftly and smiled. With that last smile she looked into his eyes and suddenly closed her hands.

“I have given him the necessary to combat the darkness” she then said. Elrond saw her walk to the heir apparent. Her golden curls caressed her back and it looked as if their were softly glistening.

“Is it not better to start with the youngest heir?” Elrond asked as he pointed to the dark haired lad. He was the weakest and he could feel it.

Galadriel gave him a quick shake of her head. A ray of worry passed through her eyes as she gave an explanation.

“Tauriel has not accepted hope. I will give her a few more minutes”

She moved next to Fili as Elrond followed. Her dress glided to a stop in front of the stone bed and she immediately moved her hands over his chest.

“He is also strong” she whispered closing her eyes. She opened them as the shining light appeared once again. “His soul is kind”

*

Tauriel ran through the wood. The cold air bit at her cheeks as she exhaled loudly causing clouds of her breath to dance in front of her.

Her legs sped up. She could hear his voice. She was getting closer and closer.

And at last she could almost feel his heartbeat. She skid to a stop and extended her arm in front of her and as she closed her eyes she opened her hand.

Tauriel’s palm was extended in front of her as she waited. The cold surrounded her yet his warmth was calling her name. And so was him.

His voice grew louder and louder as she opened her eyes and smiled. She cried softly as he walked towards her.

“Kili” she whispered as her hands fell to her sides in surprise. She had so much to tell him yet she could not find her voice.

“Hello there my love” he answered, caressing her cheek. She leaned into his touch, chuckling breathlessly.

“I'm so scared” she murmured, voice shaking as she swallowed. It was beyond her to ever lean on anyone else but she suddenly wanted his protection.

Kili ran his nose down the side of her face, wrapping his strong arms around her. She felt the cold disappear. Light surrounded them both as if showering down from the sky above.

“Do not be afraid, amralime” he whispered at her ear.

Tauriel beamed as she felt his hand brush against her stomach with the lightest of touches, perhaps by accident or with the knowledge that his little baby resided there.

And that is when Tauriel woke up to the faint darkness of her chamber, her forehead drenched in sweat. The fire at the hearth was smaller but it still gave off shadows. The shadows danced around her room as if fighting for the last rays of light the fire was giving off.

“Kili” she called to the silence around her. She smiled as she ran her finger across her cheek, wiping the tears that she did not remember shedding.

“He will come back to us” she whispered looking down at her belly. The light within her shone bright and strong.

It was then that Galadriel looked at Elrond and gave him a swift nod. So Tauriel had come through after all.

“They are both ready now” she confirmed moving her open hand above Kili’s chest. His soul radiated, anxious to return.

“Do not worry young one” Galadriel whispered. “You will see them both. But you will need to fight”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my version of how Galadriel and Lord Elrond plan to resuscitate the dwarves. Things will get interesting!


	13. Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!

Her body ached as she shook awake. It was the second time in a couple of hours that Tauriel awoke with alarm etched on her mind. Her head spun but soon her thoughts skidded to a stop.

Her body was covered in sweat once again as the nightmares had gotten more violent. She threw the blankets covering her off to the side as she breathed in harsh gulps of air.

“Am I going insane?” she asked to the steady darkness around her. The fire at the hearth had shrunk in size as only a few logs clung to the life of the fire. The chips of wood fought for the heat as Tauriel fought for a sense of peace. She was unaccustomed to having no control over her emotions. She had never had such violent nightmares which shredded any control whatsoever. 

She touched her forehead and wiped away the moisture that had accumulated there. In that instant she flinched as the burning returned. She gasped and bit her bottom lip as it felt as if her chest had been lit on fire. She screamed as she stood up only to collapse to the floor. It was only after a few minutes that pain disappeared. 

Tauriel took a deep breath trying to comprehend what was happening. Was she really feeling the pain he was feeling? Was he alive now?  She rose even if her knees felt like collapsing her to the floor once again.

“Kili” she whispered as she took a deep breath and walked to the door. Her bare feet took another step closer to only feel the pain return once again. Her hands fisted and she collapsed. Incoherent words left her mouth as tears rolled down her cheeks. Her pain tolerance was higher than in most so she knew the pain she felt was far more than she was capable of handling. But she needed to get to him. She needed to tell them to stop. 

“Stop” she hissed as she slammed her hand on the floor. How could they allow him to feel more pain then he had already felt? He was suffering. She knew he was getting it worse then she was and that hurt more than any burning she felt.  Tears streamed down her face as she laid there. Every time she tried to get closer to the door the pain would return. She arrived to the point where the pain had grown bigger than she was capable of beating.

A sense of guilt and failure ate her alive but she had to stay away from getting closer to the door. Only then would the pain be less intense. 

* * *

Gandalf opened his eyes as the door handle turned. Galadriel and Elrond both walked in after many hours of being in that chamber… where death and life both roamed.

Every single pair of feet rose to meet the floor as many awoke suddenly. 

“How are they?” someone asked.

“Did they make it?” Bilbo asked with eyes that could have used a bit more sleep.

“Please tell us” Bofur said. 

Both elves looked exhausted, not in physical form but in mentality.

“We have done everything we could do” Elrond was first to speak. He gave them a small smile as he himself was hopeful. “They are still not awake” 

Galadriel was next to nod her head. “I am hopeful, so that means you all should as well” 

“They will come back?” Bilbo asked as he walked closer to the tall elf. 

She looked to the door leading to the corridor. 

“I cannot assume anything. But they are strong. They are fighting” 

Gandalf caught her voice fluctuate in the slightest of ways. He heard her voice fill his mind and cover every corner of his thoughts.

“Tauriel is in pain” she stated. Her golden voice filled his head and not the room. 

He gave her a saddened look. 

“What can we do?” he asked as he cursed himself for not predicting such tragedy.

“It is not your fault” she answered, alleviating his guilt. 

Her eyes fell then. “Though I am afraid that there is nothing we can do. They are connected” 

“Indeed they are” 

Her eyes sparkled then. “I have never felt such a connection before. It is so strong that even the walls shook with its strength” 

Gandalf smiled then his sadness for Tauriel interrupted him.

“We must confort her at least” he proposed.

She quickly shook her head and finally used her voice.

“No one can step into that chamber and visit them” she announced out loud. Her voice filled with seriousness. And then her eyes shifted over to the wizard. “And Tauriel shall be left undisturbed as well” 

“I cannot bare leaving her alone” Gandalf then said out loud and small chatter roamed among the dwarves and Bilbo. 

Galadriel walked over to him. “I will go to her then” 

He looked confused as she gave him a small smile. “You forget darling, that my voice and being can travel to many places” 

Gandalf sighed and nodded. “She will appreciate your presence” 

“She’s a fighter” she whispered looking at her hands which had done so much the last hours. “The life she carries within her will give them both strength but I will try to aid her” 

* * *

Tauriel was exhausted. The pain left and came like the seasons. Sometimes it left her cold like winter and hot like summer. Yet the intensity of the pain was always the same… there was no in between. No spring nor autumn to bring some relief to her.

He had lost his life saving her. Her brave prince who had needed saving so many times had saved her. A small smile caressed her lips as she remembered his expression when his eyes had been given the first sight of her. Even then she blushed as she remembered how his eyes had climbed her body. He had made her feel like a women just by the way he looked at her. She was always so busy being someone who forgot about love or desire but he came along and set fire to those needs within her. 

She was amidst another memory when the pain hit her again. She laid back against the pillows as she fisted her hands. 

“Ahh gods” she whispered as she closed her eyes. The bruising pain left her breathless, but then she heard a familiar voice amidst the waves of pain. 

“Tauriel. I know the pain must be horrific. But it is crucial that you stay in that chamber” 

Tauriel sat up on the bed as she looked around and found no one there. She swallowed as she collapsed back on the bed as the pain hit again. 

“Why does it hurt him so much?” she hissed as tears ran down her cheeks.

At this she saw the chamber getting brighter. The fire at the hearth had now grown. Her eyes could not turn to another place. 

“Look upon the fire” 

Her soothing voice was heard again as Tauriel felt a sense of small relief. 

“Look at the fire until you feel that your eyes are heavy and cannot be kept open” 

Tauriel’s chest heaved but her eyes began to close. 

“He will still feel the pain” she whispered. “Even if I sleep, he cannot escape it” 

Tears gathered at her eyes as the fire grew in both intensity and brightness. Suddenly, through wide eyes, Tauriel saw the fire leave the hearth and travel around the chamber in a snake like movement. She froze as the fire got dangerously close to her skin and she immediately covered her stomach with a protective hand. She would have thought she was dreaming but the heat of the fear grounded her to reality. The fire snake traveled around her chamber a few times letting sparks of light dance around. 

“What is happening?” she whispered as she then heard her voice again.

“Look at the fire and allow its heat to bring you peace” 

Tauriel felt confused. The fire was not calming her but with a second glance at it she saw Kili’s face etched within the flames. She felt her heartbeat increase in speed as she saw her beloved in the soft flames. He was smiling at her, just as he had always done. His cheeky grin that made her entire body sing his name was etched on his lips.  She smiled as her heavy eyes began to close with the memory of his smile dancing within her mind. It was soothing to fall asleep to such a wonderful image. Soon the pain disappeared and she felt as if she had fallen into a black empty void as sleep forced her to lose any sense of time. 

* * *

“She fell asleep” Galadriel confirmed.

Gandalf sighed in relief as he settled his cup of tea on the small table. 

“Thank you” he said. They shared smiles and kind looks. 

“She has suffered” she stated in a saddened voice. “If he does not come back, I will offer to take her with me” 

This gathered Gandalf’s curiosity. 

“Would you expect her to… fade?” 

Galadriel stared at her hands. “The child she carries within will give her the necessary strength to continue” 

He nodded, laying back on the cushioned chair. “She will always carry a piece of him” 

Silence fell between them as they both felt the tension in the room. So much was at stake but now the only task they had to do was wait. They did not know when signs of life could make themselves know but Galadriel would feel it. 

“She will fill her life with the courage she shall need if he does not come back” she finally said after minutes of silence. 

The wizard rose a brow. “Who is the she you are referring to?”

An almost private and mysterious smile appeared at her lips. 

“She carries a little princess within her” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a girl! (I am trying to make this story as different from Firemoons as I can, since in that one the gender reveal will not happen up until later I wanted to reveal the gender of the baby right away in this one)   
> Thanks for reading! <3 Lots of 'foreshadowing' going on at the moment. I have still not made up my mind if they are coming back to life hehe whoops...   
> I am going to try to keep this at 15 chapters or less. Although I could continue based on what I ultimately decide.   
> Ps- The new chapter for Firemoons has also been uploaded :)   
> Lots of thanks for everyone who has stuck around. You are amazing!


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